this post was submitted on 21 Oct 2025
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Bullshit. That's just toxic internet culture talking. You may have to put some effort in your profile, but it worked for me and I'm a 6 at best.
Been doing it for a few months now and no matches. Rejected 4 times in real life. Also, because of other preconditions my capacity for social interaction is very limited.
I hate when people say "just put in some effort". I'm doing it, I'm giving it all I have but I did so for about 10 years now and I got nothing. I don't hate the people that rejected me but this can't be normal, and I'm not the only one.
I'm happy for people where it works out but I feel immense pain knowing I'm back to square one for the 4th time. And let's not kid ourselves, 10 years going by doesn't exactly make me more attractive.
Are you liking lots of people on these apps or are you very selective about how you give out likes? If you’re not very selective you’re probably being flagged as a bot and it’s putting your profile at the bottom of the stack of profiles.
Are you using friend finding apps as well? I found that on those, the expectations are way more normal. If the goal is just to meet someone cool and then there could be a relationship after then that already lowers those guardrails that the dating apps cause, from my experience.
I highly recommend changing your approach if what you are currently doing is not working. I recommend joining a running or biking group local to meet people, or even looking for speed dating events in your city.
I guarantee there are people out there that would match your tempo perfectly. The caveat is putting yourself in spaces to meet these potential matches. Do you read, have any pets, or have any fun hobbies a potential partner would find attractive? If you do have any of these things, then mentioning it in your profiles and such can matter.
Someone I know, that I was strongly convinced was going to marry a body pillow, is married to a woman he has dated for a few years now. I firmly believe that there is hope for anyone to find a perfect partner. The crux is that you might have to change what you are doing to encounter some of these people.
What are friend finding apps? Can you name drop some please.
MeetMe was one I used; Interpals was a website I used for penpals. Some other ones that seem alright are Hoop, Meetup, and Peeps.