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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works

338

Anon's solution for first date nerves (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 1 week ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works

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[–] Franconian_Nomad@feddit.org 100 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Confidence is a huge deal and very important. Now just talk like a confident you, not like Donald Trump.

[–] yakko@feddit.uk 52 points 1 week ago (2 children)

My keyboard is the biggest, loudest, most beautiful - and not just loud, everyone says it has excellent tactility - have you seen the lights? Better than the aurora borealis. The aurora borealis saw my keyboard and said so themselves. I built it myself. It was easy. You go to a website that sells the parts. Great websites, some of the happiest places on the internet.

Nah, still hate it

[–] Psionicsickness@reddthat.com 18 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

So you look at yakko talking. What a joke. Does anyone actually think he knows what he’s talking about? Tactility? Really? Weak language. My keyboard is has ten times more lights than his, and when I press a button it knows I mean it. Tactility isn’t a factor. It’s rough, gruff, able to take the pressure of a real man’s hands.

Oh, and did you notice how he said loudest? I did. All these vocal minorities, with their purple hair and face tattoos. They don’t care about America, they don’t care about our traditions or our values. All they want is a handout.

I feel really dirty….

[–] yakko@feddit.uk 8 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Let's never do this again ^^

[–] LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago

Listen. This is the biggest. The BIGGEST keyboard. They said it could not be bigger. They said, Mr LH0ezVT, this keyboard cannot be bigger. The FAKE news and the lunatic left said it cannot be bigger. THEY LIED! Look at this keyboard. It is the BIGGEST keyboard in America. Maybe even the BIGGEST in the world. People from all over the world come to me. They say this is the BIGGEST keyboard.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Actually, there's another way to mimic him that also accomplishes this goal (works great when a date is going badly, too).

When you decide you're done with someone, just loudly and obviously shit in your pants.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

... Did you just... counter a Trump-pression with a Bill Burr-pression?

[–] Psionicsickness@reddthat.com 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

It was an attempt at a Trump one. I’m not upset that I’m bad at it.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 6 days ago

Fair enough, lol!

[–] Franconian_Nomad@feddit.org 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Same, but because it’s still too much Trump.

My keyboard is great, I love it. it’s loud, but also a joy to type on. I built it my self, which makes me live it even more - it’s not so difficult. Look at the lights! Here try typing on it, isn‘t the tactility great?

[–] yakko@feddit.uk 3 points 1 week ago

Yeah you're right... The magic trick is liking yourself. I'll get there, but knowing the trick does make it less magical.