this post was submitted on 18 Nov 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] thenoirwolfess@lemmynsfw.com 86 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] MisterFrog@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago
[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 52 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

“Move to Italy” seems like a pretty good opening gambit.

[–] musubibreakfast@lemmy.world 18 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Or open a really good Italian restaurant or deli, move to New Jersey, New York or Chicago, join the mafia, become Roman Catholic, make a big deal out of celebrating Columbus Day every year, the options are endless.

[–] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I can guarantee OP cannot handle a NJ Italian American Divorcée

[–] No1@aussie.zone 5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Or the crazy ex-husband who hangs around with a bunch of guys who are definitely not in the mob.

If you know what's good for you.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 38 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

go to southern Italy and speak Italian, for starters.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 13 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

What’s wrong with northern Italy?

[–] Jerkface@lemmy.world 32 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] anugeshtu@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Do you know everything you did? Hell, I can't even remember all I did a week ago. Maybe selective memory

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

My agenda is fairly exhaustive:

1: eat
2: poop

[–] mcz@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

Important tip: always separate step 1 from step 2

[–] musubibreakfast@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

All the women in the North are just men with wigs which is fine, but it does make it difficult to find a MILF.

[–] m4xie@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 weeks ago

Tbh I'd rather date a fun Italian cross-dresser than a woman who's in a different stage of her life than I am.

[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 23 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (5 children)

No then she'll be French.

(Also why Italian? Romans were cool. Renaissance city-states were cool. But modern Italy is mid-tier.)

[–] Damage@feddit.it 39 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] neukenindekeuken@sh.itjust.works 30 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] Damage@feddit.it 30 points 2 weeks ago

there are dozzine of us

[–] RightHandOfIkaros@lemmy.world 20 points 2 weeks ago

Found the Italian 🤌.

Fixed that for you.

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

My guess would be that anon is from italy but just chose to phrase it in this ambigous way.

[–] Jerkface@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

I mean... it's what we all want, isn't it?

[–] Fizz@lemmy.nz 4 points 2 weeks ago

Italians are hot. You've got poor taste.

[–] wieson@feddit.org 4 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Casual xenophobia from the US American, what was I even hoping for

[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 weeks ago

Welcome to 4chan.

[–] genau@europe.pub -1 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Most Europeans would share the opinion though.

[–] seggturkasz@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

European here, no no no. Italians are awesome. Very friendly and cool people full of smile and elegance. If you want Europeans trash talk Italians you have to ask southern Italian about northern Italians or vica versa. :D

[–] genau@europe.pub 3 points 2 weeks ago

I'm European.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Italy isn't Europe's joke country though. Italians are just minding their own business out there in the Mediterranean not really bothering anyone else.

Everyone will trash talk France though. And the French will trash talk Parisians.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

And we Americans trash talk France. I don't know why though, they've been nothing but helpful, what with the Revolutionary War and the Louisiana purchase.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 2 points 2 weeks ago

They were real dicks in the late 20th century though, including engaging in state-sponsored terrorism. Their inclusion in the European Union was a real sticking point for a while because of that.

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 2 weeks ago

I thought Europeans mostly bitch about the US tho

[–] okwhateverdude@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

You're not wrong. All the cool Italians left and are in my friend circle.

[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 8 points 2 weeks ago

You’re saying advertising might work?

[–] Obi@sopuli.xyz 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

OP probably never met an Italian MILF, they are scary AF. Attractive, yes, but in a way that will make you fear she'll rip your nuts off in a random spat of anger that you did nothing to provoke.