this post was submitted on 23 Nov 2025
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[–] tomiant@piefed.social 211 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (10 children)

See, the thing is, I watch piss porn. Hear me out. I told my friend that the thing is, to do piss porn, you kind of have to be into it. You could try and fake it, but it wouldn't be very convincing. So, my contention is, piss porn is more genuine than other types of porn, because the people partaking are statistically more likely to enjoy doing that type of porn. Which is great, I think, because then they really get into it, which is hot. It's that enjoyment that gets me off. Their enjoyment.

She said, "tomiant, you're an idiot. Anyone can fake liking getting pissed in the face."

So I said, "Well, if you're so adamant, get in the tub and I'll piss in your mouth, and let's see if it's as easy as you claim."

So she said, "All right. If I can fist you in the ass afterwards."

Which I felt was a fair deal, so I took it.

My (formal) position was strengthened significantly by the former event. And I can also attest that I could not convincingly fake enjoying being ass-fisted.

What does that have to do with anything, you ask? Genuinity. The real deal. That's what.

[–] Fuck_u_spez_@sh.itjust.works 104 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

-- tomiant
Unprompted

[–] LarsIsCool@lemmy.world 55 points 1 week ago (2 children)

How is this not a copy pasta?

[–] CriticalMiss@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

Be the change you want to see in the world

[–] InFerNo@lemmy.ml 51 points 1 week ago (2 children)

How do I delete someone else's comment

[–] sem@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 1 week ago

Type /quit <person's name here> and it will quit them from ~~IRC~~ Lemmy.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

ALT+F4 of course.

[–] petrol_sniff_king@lemmy.blahaj.zone 27 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Thank you, this saved me a lot of work.

[–] tomiant@piefed.social 14 points 1 week ago

I'm just stating the obvious.

[–] Credibly_Human@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This is funny, but also just to bring reality to a funny comment, there is tons of piss porn where the women clearly do not enjoy it, but, and this is something a lot of people seem to not be able to understand; the enjoyment of all parties involved is not necessary for many people to get off. Heck, for some, its better without the fake enjoyment because you're being lied to less.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 12 points 1 week ago

Or they want the person to feel shamed and disgusted.

[–] afox@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago

This is a wild ride. I've seen this like 4 times today... Why can't I stop reading the entire thing. I just walk away hella confused. I'm a simple man with simple dreams. And now I need therapy. Just kidding I definitely needed therapy well before this.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 17 points 1 week ago

Scat porn is where people with real passion go.

[–] Iambus@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

Alrighty then..

[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 week ago

This makes the mars bars meme look like advice animals

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 74 points 1 week ago

Gotta love Clickhole 😄

[–] Kenny2999@lemmy.world 70 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

"No animals were ~left~ injured during filming."

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 62 points 1 week ago (2 children)

No need to look it up, fact-check or confirm this or verify context. It was posted with a picture of the man so it must be true.

[–] exasperation@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 1 week ago

That's definitely the clickhole logo in the cropped watermark, intended to be pure satire.

[–] DupaCycki@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

Thanks for confirming. Was about to waste time fact checking.

[–] abbadon420@sh.itjust.works 31 points 1 week ago
[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago

Kristi noem entered the chat

[–] errer@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago

The “unprompted” is what elevates this to the next level

[–] AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago
[–] tomiant@piefed.social 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

You could just use a robot dog! Then you could shoot it, stab it, violate it, and it would be ok! You wouldn't call the cops, right? Because it's not a real dog. It's a robot dog. Indistinguishable from the real thing, of course, yelping from the pain of betrayal, but that yelping, see the dog is programmed to feel that. It's just a program.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQcNYb3DydA

[–] datavoid@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Now, the dog IS programmed not to like it, but it can't actually feel any pain!

[–] tomiant@piefed.social 2 points 1 week ago

I will never ever stop watching that god damned clip. I post it frivolously.

[–] TomArrr@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Marley & Me just got a little sadder

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That's informative & interesting, but there's nothing bad about it at all.

[–] TomArrr@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

It proves it wasn't real 😞

[–] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago
[–] pyre@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

where's the lie though

[–] ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net 1 points 1 week ago

Ruggero Deodato agrees.

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)

I'll say it again and again Owen Wilson is one of the shittiest human beings alive. Fuck him

Edit: Owen Wilson has a 5yo doughter (with dna tests) with an ex girlfriend that he refuses to meet or acknowledge because it's a girl and he doesn't want female children. On HER birthday he took his boys to a baseball game and posted a fatherly message to the both of them.

I'm sorry but wtf a 5yo girl did to deserve this?

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 15 points 1 week ago

The fuck did he do? Kill your dog?

[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

He might be but what he's saying makes sense. Just means to me you shouldn't write a dog dying into a script if you want it to be a realistic looking scene.

[–] tomiant@piefed.social 3 points 1 week ago

The Thing was pretty realistic.

[–] IronBird@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

did i miss something with Owens?

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Only thing I'm personally aware of is his refusing to recognize his daughter? Maybe OP knows his daughter (or, according to Owen Wilson, some random bastard bitch who isn't his daughter)?

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

I don't have to know them to believe a man that actively does things to hurt a 5yo girl just because she is a girl is an asshole.

[–] sem@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

How do you remember the difference between Owen Wilson and Chris Pratt? I keep getting them confused. I know Chris Pratt was in Community, but maybe Owen Wilson was also? I'm not sure.

[–] Nasan@sopuli.xyz 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Owen Wilson had a cameo in Community in the episode where Jack Black guest starred. Don't remember any episodes with Chris Pratt.

[–] sem@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Wait I'm thinking of Parks and Rec, not Community. Damn.

I double checked wikipedia, and Chris Pratt is in that one (his name is Andy).

Owen Wilson on the other hand is best known for Wes Anderson films and stupid comedies, but also Pixar's Cars and friggin Armageddon???

Huh weird. I still feel like I have no idea how to remember him, except that hes the main voice in cars I guess.

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 2 points 1 week ago

I only remember him as a relatively frequent collaborator to Ben Stiller. Not even sure how many times they actually did that. And TBH I don't think I've even watched any movie with Chris Pratt, he got famous way later than Wilson.