this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2025
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I'm going Orange. I feel like all of the others would naturally follow.

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[–] Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

Eye color. Though the five dollarydoos are tempting.

[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 124 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Black one for sure. You could get away with some amazing heists/pranks/achievements.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 71 points 1 week ago (3 children)

And they'll be waiting for you in Tarana Albania, every time.

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 40 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Everywhere? The first thing I would do is take a 3 month vacation and scout the entire city.

Best chances are to bribe the politicians and police, then you can get away with a lot.

[–] anomnom@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 week ago (7 children)

Showing up with armfuls of bribes each time should help.

Staying anonymous would be the best way though, especially if your goings try it more than once.

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[–] lividweasel@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] ZoteTheMighty@lemmy.zip 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I think they'd catch on to me after I got flagged 5 times in one year leaving Albania with no record of entering the country in between.

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[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago (6 children)

get an apartment closest to the teleport place, travelling is now cheaper as you never have to worry about the way back.

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[–] justdaveisfine@piefed.social 95 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Red.

Simply say "oh, its a full moon tonight?" Then look at them with your now piercingly red eyes and state "I must leave, immediately."

Get out of any social situation and you can get your friends to think you're hiding some big secret. Win win.

[–] myster0n@feddit.nl 43 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Or "don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry" while turning your eyes green

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[–] sfxrlz@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Why bother if you could simply teleport to Tirana and back afterwards ?

[–] _g_be@lemmy.world 49 points 1 week ago (2 children)

There's no "and back" included

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[–] marcos@lemmy.world 60 points 1 week ago (2 children)

And teleport back back, right?

... Right?

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 31 points 1 week ago (4 children)

I didn't take it that way. It's still super useful. Bribe their government to not say shit and try to keep a low profile. I don't know how fucked your passport would look though...

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[–] GiveOver@feddit.uk 57 points 1 week ago

One time I was in Spain and I found 5 Australian dollars on the floor in a train station. I picked it up and pocketed it. The same day, I climbed a bell tower in some museum/remains and was chilling up there for half an hour, without anybody else coming up. Eventually another person came up and said hi. Recognised they were Australian so I asked them if they wanted 5 dollars and they said "....yeah?" And I gave it to them. No explanation.

I laugh sometimes thinking of the story from their perspective, climbing a Spanish bell tower and meeting an English guy at the top who hands them 5AUD, like a NPC in an RPG.

[–] Meron35@lemmy.world 43 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Pink, because then you can fold Queen Elizabeth II into a whale giving head

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

God save... What the fuck?

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[–] TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone 41 points 1 week ago (11 children)

Talking dog, it's so obviously talking dog

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[–] ___qwertz___@feddit.org 38 points 1 week ago (8 children)

People here talk about doing crime with the black pill, but I would instead just be the perfect astronaut.

Think about it, they could shoot you in space without having to think about how to get you back. No landing, no parachute, just a one way rocket launch.

Space agencies would be practically forced to hire you on the spot.

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[–] zxqwas@lemmy.world 32 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Black. I could do anything far away from Albania, teleport there, have three cctv cameras and 9 guys at a pub confirm was there having a drink with them in the evening the 23rd and could definitely not have been robbing a jewelery store in Copenhagen at the same time.

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[–] Sv443@sh.itjust.works 29 points 1 week ago

ur telling me I can get a /home command and all I need to do is become Albanian?

[–] bryndos@fedia.io 24 points 1 week ago

Quite a lot are picking Tirana.

I suspect there'll be some telefragging in the future.

[–] pupbiru@aussie.zone 23 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)

i reckon you could make more than $5AUD with a cantonese speaking dog

AND you get a dog

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[–] PugJesus@piefed.social 22 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Teleporting to Albania seems OP, I'd definitely take it.

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[–] realitista@lemmus.org 19 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Cantonese speaking dog is the obvious choice. Far more impressive than anything else here.

[–] ramenshaman@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I would 1000% learn Cantonese and have conversations with my dog.

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[–] BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz 18 points 1 week ago (2 children)

The black pill.

You can just TP to Tirana if you are in a situation that is more dangerous than being in Albania. Which doesn't happen often but you'd be very glad to have chosen this if something that bad ever happened to you

[–] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Like is it a specific place in Tirana? Or a place of your choosing? Or a safe place in Tirana? Or like a category of things (like "hotel lobbies") and it picks one at random? Or just completely random (unoccupied?) space (at ground level?)?

So many questions. I wouldn't want to be teleported into the Tirana airspace, or teleported with my current solar velocity.

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[–] Credibly_Human@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago

The teleportation is obviously most powerful in terms of exploits

The dog could bring about the most technological advancement

I think Ill go for the eye color change though, because its so uncommon to have different eye colors.

[–] exasperation@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 1 week ago (2 children)

"Albanian Transporter" would be a pretty sick nickname of an assassin whose movements seem to defy the laws of physics.

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[–] RabbleRebel@lemmy.wtf 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

我想要狗狗做朋友

DOG!

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[–] mkhopper@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago

Obviously pink.
I don't see any stipulation that says I can only use my power only once.

[–] Ugurcan@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Dinner with Luol Deng of course. I don’t know who it is but that pill means I get free dinner every night.

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[–] halvar@lemy.lol 14 points 1 week ago (2 children)

My reactions in order upon seeing these:

"Sounds cool I could probably convince some nutjobs that I'm a demon or something?"

"Who?"

"Great my head already doesn't fit through my doorframe as it is"

"I would farm exactly two reactions out of this before getting bored"

"Who?"

"Is he only like ethnically cantonese or is that the sole language he speaks?"

"So nothing"

"A what in a what now?"

"Oh no."

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[–] Aljernon@lemmy.today 13 points 1 week ago

Obviously I'm teleporting to Albania.

[–] hellfire103@lemmy.ca 13 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Black could be handy once in a while.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 week ago

The vagueness gives me pause. You could effectively be a god depending on whether you can choose where and how to teleport within Tirana. Constructing buildings and shipping goods with minimal cost and energy. Renaming other towns to expand your powers. Expanding Albania to do the same. Definitely the highest ceiling

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[–] Apeman42@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Can you teleport things with you? If so, use your ability to start a business importing items to Albania with nearly zero shipping costs, then invest in the local community until it's a really nice city to teleport home to.

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[–] badcommandorfilename@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

5 Dollarydoos!?

[–] SabinStargem@lemmy.today 11 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Tirana. Being a courier, you can just zap yourself from South America or Australia straight to Albania to securely deliver a package or message. Provided your contracts cover the costs of the non-teleportation aspects, you can make millions easily.

[–] Delphia@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago (3 children)

It doesnt say you can teleport back...

You keep flying back into your country from Albania with no proof you ever left you're gonna get "interviewed" at an airport really fast.

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[–] GenosseFlosse@feddit.org 10 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Easy: Teleport to Albania for cheap rent and food, work somewhere with high pay.

[–] Kacarott@aussie.zone 14 points 1 week ago

It doesn't say you can teleport away though, so wherever you work is gonna have to be somewhat close by anyway

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[–] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

Love the idea that a third string QB in the XFL is worth $5 AUD. Still overvalued.

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