this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2025
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[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 37 points 6 days ago

purple one is to die for

[–] M0oP0o@mander.xyz 20 points 6 days ago (1 children)

No added preservatives!

THEY ARE ADDED PRESERVATIVES!

[–] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 19 points 6 days ago (2 children)

I was gonna say. There's none added because that's what they are.

"Oops, all preservatives."

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

"Oops, all preservatives."

I think mass-produced factory loaves of bread also should include this on their labels because have you noticed the past couple decades that bread never gets moldy anymore, regardless how long it's neglected in its plastic packaging?

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago

Exactly, thank you. There are no added preservatives. Just the preservatives, as requested.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 24 points 6 days ago (2 children)

People are so toxic that they want to be toxic after they die too.

I just want to be dumped off at the landfill or ground up and used for fertilizer after giving up any useful organs.

[–] CompactFlax@discuss.tchncs.de 14 points 6 days ago (7 children)

It’s surprisingly difficult to get that treatment.

Just compost me. Throw my body into the green cart. Why do I need to spend so much money?

[–] Zorque@lemmy.world 11 points 6 days ago

Even in death we must feed the machine.

[–] Dozzi92@lemmy.world 6 points 6 days ago (2 children)
[–] JuanPeece@sh.itjust.works 2 points 5 days ago

Never forget to empty the grease tray for your homie

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[–] Master@sh.itjust.works 9 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Had this conversation recently when my wife died. She wanted to be cremated with no embalming but wanted a visitation. In the US you have to be embalmed to have a visitation. No amount of pleading to just put her in an ice bath would work sadly.

[–] peteypete420@sh.itjust.works 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

You can't have a visitation with someone who has been cremated? Are you positive thats not a state specific thing?

Maybe there is something else you can call it? It just surprises me because my grandmother and an uncle where both cremated, and we had services. I thought they were visitations.

[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (3 children)

I think they meant she wanted her body to be seen before cremation, and the funeral home wouldn't do that without embalming her.

[–] peteypete420@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 days ago

I see I see. Ok yea that I could believe.

[–] Master@sh.itjust.works 4 points 6 days ago

Yea, this is it. Guess it wasn't s clear. Visitation and then cremation.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

because the funereal business is a sham.

can't have y without x and if you get x you need z. we've conveniently packaged it together in our x-z package for a low cost of $6999. isn't this what the dearly departed would want from you? don't they deserve the best??

and that's why I'm a complete fucking asshole. I don't deserve the best. I deserve to rot in a culvert on the outskirts of the airport.

[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

I mean, sure. You do you.

[–] Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone 15 points 6 days ago
[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 4 days ago

I wish I could read all of that text clearly

[–] brap@lemmy.world 17 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Metaflow Arterial Conditioner looks delicious

[–] drolex@sopuli.xyz 19 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Wow your arteries are glowing! What conditioner do you use?

[–] PapaStevesy@lemmy.world 10 points 6 days ago (1 children)

It works best when used in combination with Metaflow Arterial Shampoo.

[–] massacre@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago

Rinse and repeat.

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[–] LuxSpark@lemmy.cafe 4 points 5 days ago

They look delicious, but I want to be deep fried when I die.

[–] joelfromaus@aussie.zone 10 points 6 days ago (1 children)

From left to right; peach, watermelon, lemon, grape, apple, guava.

[–] JPSound@lemmy.world 11 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Far left is actually Dragon Fruit Splash™. Its got electrolytes.

[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] perishthethought@piefed.social 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] cannedtuna@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

Looks apple flavored tho

[–] moonshadow@slrpnk.net 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

You know how when you were a kid you'd mix all the flavours from the soda fountain?

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Fittingly, we always called that a suicide.

[–] moonshadow@slrpnk.net 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

We called it a graveyard, still works lol

[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Same.
...Why the fuck did we call it that??

[–] wieson@feddit.org 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Dunno... We called it Bonani-Tea

[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

I've never heard that one before. Is that pronounced like "boe naan ee tea"? Where did you grow up?

[–] wieson@feddit.org 2 points 3 days ago

In Germany. I think a friend of mine just made that up, it doesn't have a meaning but it sounds nice.

If you really wanna nail the pronunciation, you have to say all the vowels straight, no diphthongs. So don't bent the "o" to an "ou". Boh-nah-nee comes close.

[–] chetradley@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago
[–] silicon@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago

What, there's no morticians on this platform to explain exactly what each of these does to a body?

[–] zaphod@sopuli.xyz 4 points 6 days ago

I'll go with pink or whatever the colour on the right is.

[–] SpiceDealer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 6 days ago

Imagine getting drunk, breaking into a morgue and seeing this.

[–] FauxLiving@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago (6 children)

I'd think anything that involved an open casket would be red tinted. Who wants to see grandma in her casket with visibly green veins...

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 8 points 6 days ago

Don't yuck other people's yums!

[–] Zorque@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

It's not a leave in conditioner.

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[–] arrow74@lemmy.zip 3 points 6 days ago

Introfiant for me thanks

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