This really smashed my dick with a hydraulic press
this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2025
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Vot de fok!
Holy shit an in the wild Hydraulic Press Channel "Vot De Fok" reference on a random Sunday evening!
This short thread following the OPs shitpost got me good. Thanks for the uncontrollable 60 seconds of laughter!
It some kind ov exploded!
(I think that was from his folding paper vid? The line stuck with me.)
(Edit: yep.)
And then ultimate-goatse my butthole with the jaws of life.
But then the next step absolutely sounded by urethra with Uralmash-15000 deep bore drill.
The final step really rustled my jimmies.
Poor Harambe. *unzips*
😱
Free top surgery if I read?
Damn, thats a real hot finance tip
HEALTH INSURANCE COMPANIES HATE THIS ONE SIMPLE TRICK! 😱😱😱
Depends on what they mean by "clean off". I suspect it's not going to be as clean as you'd imagine.
Ow my tits!
Reductress is a hell of a website.
I'm jacked! Jacked to the TITS!
If The Onion is an actually serious journalist website, this will be their type of headline. They'll fully embrace sensationalist headline without being clickbait.
Omfg this is a song
Idk if it's just the mobile version but that website is designed horribly, I spent five minutes simply trying to get the whole name of the song to show up, as I was curious how much of what was written above is in the song name, but no matter what you can't see it. Turning my phone sideways just made a thing on the side show up proportioning everything the same as before turning it sideways, the credits have the exact same issue with not showing the whole name, including while sideways, and I can't play the whole song since I need to sign up for the service. Idk how someone could make something worse than Spotify, but this definitely hit the mark.
For me (safari on iOS) a long press brings up an expanded title, although that song’s title is so unusually long I had to drag it to the far corner of the screen to see it all lmao
Unfortunately for me a long press, while ultimately bringing up a new menu, still doesn't scroll to the end of the song name lol even with further swiping and holding and trying all sorts of things. I'm on duckduckgo through android.
And you’re not going to share the results of your research??
It does use the whole name lol, but it's turns out it's just a 30 second song with completely irrelevant lyrics that are tastelessly screamed to the most basic drumming you've ever heard. I honestly don't even remember if it was anything other than drums, if there was a guitar or bass it was equally as basic as the drums and tuned right into them. All in all, 1/10, and that's an overstatement.
Idk it's fine on the app but I see what you mean
Help, now my manboobs have been blated off, everything is covered in blood and human fat tissue, and also I'm bleeding out!
I could not BELIEVE number 7!!
Reference is from the Dirty Harry remake, Dirty Bastard.
What happens if you don't have tits? Or you do have tits, but are in another room when it's baking?
I mean, what happens if you don't have a left arm and try to chop it off with an axe?
So it was you lurking in the forest. I knew someone was watching me when I tried to do that. Why are axes so heavy?
I wouldn't have any arms left
1, you'll grow DDs just so they can blow off. 2, distance is irrelevant, there is no escaping the clickbait cup crumping curse.
Ok but what happened?
She cooked
Well
smoove off