Pronell

Maybe, just maybe, they're so incompetent that they get the phrase wrong and accidentally win?

I imagine there are plenty of service-related cancers, and they likely pay for services received elsewhere if that expertise isn't available at a VA hospital.

I think that, in the process, you'll be creating enough Gilbert Gottfried impersonators that they couldn't all be low-quality any longer.

Just one little hitch in your otherwise flawless plan.