this post was submitted on 26 Jul 2026
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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[–] Hazmatastic@lemmy.world 94 points 1 month ago (5 children)

When I was in high school, I heard this thing about getting "high" through blood pressure and oxygen manipulation. The technique (don't try at home):

  1. Be seated.

  2. Actively hyperventilate for 30s. Deeeeep breaths.

  3. Stand up quickly.

  4. Immediately stick thumb in mouth with full lungs and attempt to blow air out as hard as possible without actually letting any out.

  5. That's it. That's the whole thing.

So, feeling dubious, I tried it while hanging out with some friends. I stand up, do the thing, and in <5s boom. Dreamland. I had what felt like a full 6-hour experience, semi-lucid dreaming. I had some control and awareness that I was dreaming, flew around some giant yellow and pink mushrooms. I dont remember any other details at this point, but it was a whole day pretty much.

Wake up to my head hitting my buddy's guitar. I somehow had an hours-long experience in the time it took for me to pass out and hit the ground. Haven't done it since, but man, I don't think I'll ever forget that. One hell of a ride.

[–] StillAlive@piefed.world 63 points 1 month ago (1 children)

don't try at home

Should I try this at a train station then?

[–] Hazmatastic@lemmy.world 35 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If you can. If not, a dim alley or gas station bathroom is fine.

[–] Abyssian@lemmy.world 6 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

That sounds like wonderful advice.

First, when you hyperventilate you expel CO2 from your system. Desolved CO2 in blood causes it to be slightly acidic so when you rid yourself of it, it leaves your blood more alkaline. Oxygen uptake into the cells is highly pH dependent and its efficiency degrades with higher pH such as when breathing fast. Second, when on your knees, or squating, your blood circulation adepts to the blood pressure increase. Once you stand up it takes a while for your system to catch on leaving you with a brief moment of low blood pressure. People with POTS (Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome) are very aware of these frequent moments of light-headedness. Third, compressing air into your chest cavity (breathing out but obstructing the air) is called the valsalva manoeuvre and overall decreases blood pressure further while decreasing pulse rate. Combining the rapid breathing in a sitting position followed by standing up and the valsalva manoeuvre will cause temporary oxygen deficiency in the brain causing you to pass out. For obvious reason this isn't advisable to do but if you must, then do it with someone present who can monitor you to make sure you fall safely on a soft surface and make sure you lay flat to aid blood circulation and call emergency services if you're not coming to after a few seconds and can administer CPR just in case.

[–] FavouriteShapes@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

this thing about getting “high” through blood pressure and oxygen manipulation. The technique (don’t try at home):

Where the hell am I going to try it, then??

[–] mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 month ago

At the gay brothel

[–] ultrafastsloth@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It seems like your whole life flashed in front of your eyes...alas, you did not die

[–] Hazmatastic@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago

Bruh if that was my life sign me the fuck up. 98% of my dreams are better and more interesting than my life, including whatever the hell this was. Alas is right.

[–] Texas_Hangover@lemmy.radio 9 points 1 month ago

My salvia experience was like that.

[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 62 points 1 month ago

So no one told you you would never find your way
👏👏👏👏
You're trapped forever, you're lost, your one life's D.O.A.~
It's like you're always stuck going down some stairs!
When you're stuck a day, a week, a month, or even a year~ but

I'll be coming for you! (When the rain starts to pour) I'll be coming for you! (Cause you've been here before) I'll be coming for you! (And there's nothing you can do~) Dun da da di dum di di dum.

[–] ThatGuy46475@lemmy.world 56 points 1 month ago

Remembering your dream at all is consistent with not being asleep for long

[–] BenLeMan@lemmy.world 39 points 1 month ago

Anon discovers sleep apnea.

[–] TIEPilot@lemmy.world 35 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I have massive time dilation when I have dreams. I can have what feels like an 8 hour+ dream in a 30 minute nap. Also if I go back to sleep right away I can rejoin the last dream.

[–] Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Maybe you're being dropped into another instance in the simulation.

[–] TIEPilot@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Could be, they had that guy that said if you take DMT and shine a laser along the wall you can see code running. He says other people see the same thing.

Found it:

https://youtu.be/iKzTfA_OG9k

[–] Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Gotta try this before it gets patched

[–] TIEPilot@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I would too, I'm no stranger to psychedelics except DMT. I wouldn't even know where to look for that and be able to trust it.

[–] Whostosay@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

You can get the precursors pretty easily and there are a lot of guides

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

Mere The Matrix movie influence. Do you see code running along the walls in game glitches? No? Because simulating that is stupid (just like rendering the sea waves on the whole map in Crysis 2, because of a deal with Nvidia). And our reality is made of atoms anyway.

[–] affenlehrer@feddit.org 4 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Are any of those people software developers? I'm curious what kind of code it is. I hope it's not JavaScript.

I took DMT once and it's in my top ten worst experiences I ever had. Didn't have a laser with me and even if I had I would've be unable to use it.

However, I also had a common DMT experience: The "dial in" tone. I don't know why it's called like that, it has nothing to do with modem sounds. It's just a really loud high pitched beep that distorts at the end.

[–] Viceversa@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I hope it's not JavaScript.

It's PHP all the way down.

[–] affenlehrer@feddit.org 2 points 1 month ago

My dislike for PHP is close to my dislike of JavaScript. As far as I know (don't correct me if I'm wrong, I'd better not know) PHP doesn't have such an insane community that reinvents every wheel in JS and builds the worst dependency hell one could imagine. Everything else is yanky as hell though.

[–] amio@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

If reality was spackled together with js and PHP, it would explain quite a few things

[–] TIEPilot@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Thats a good point I would love to know that as well. (not a coder)

Yeah I've heard about the bad experiences thats pretty much why I never actively looked to get any. Like salvia I saw or heard to many bad trips and just noped out.

Never heard of the "dial tone" just makes me want no not take it more.

If I could do it in a really controlled environment ok I would. I'm talking rich guy safe, Doc onsite and gentle orderly's.

[–] affenlehrer@feddit.org 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

For me it was bit like this but much louder and higher pitch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuZsQ-8yntM

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[–] LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (8 children)

There is a really interesting experiment there, right? I guess we have all watched or heard of Matrix, wondered what if everything is a simulation, and seen code somewhere. What if you take a guy from some backwater place who has never seen any code, give the poor guy DMT and shine a laser at a wall? Is it a thing we imagine because the brain is wired that way? Or because we are culturally primed to imagine this? A guy who has never driven a car probably won't have that classic "car with no/broken brakes" dream either, right? .

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[–] terranoid@lemmy.cafe 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

You know, one thing i read recently... tons of people say all the wacky near death experiences are a result of dmt flooding your brain, right?

Well there's no good evidence for it. Literally they only say that because our bodies like most life produces the chemical, so anything crazy "must be a drug related experience". But they did studies on rodents which also produce dmt, and nothing showed dmt releasing near death.

It's a total cop out of an explanation with no scientific evidence.

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[–] Skyline969@piefed.ca 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I’ve had dreams that took place over years. An entire alternate lifetime in one of them. Always very disorienting to wake up from one of those.

[–] TIEPilot@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I I completely understand, my dreams are so real. I can smell, feel the breeze, etc. Sometimes when I wake up I have to look around and remind myself I'm in bed and its a dream.

Sometimes thats awesome, other times its a horror story. The last one was a mixed bag...

[–] Skyline969@piefed.ca 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I remember waking up after a lifetime-long dream, seeing my partner asleep beside me, and hugged her so hard she woke up and got mad at me. Didn’t care, in my mind I hadn’t seen her in decades.

[–] TIEPilot@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Thats terrifying, amazing, and so sweet I have the I and II diabeetus!

Did you ever explain to your partner what happened?

[–] Skyline969@piefed.ca 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Right after, and then she hugged me back just as hard. Though perhaps a bit concerned as she’s never had a dream like that.

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[–] Sophocles@infosec.pub 28 points 1 month ago

Average sitcom viewing experience

[–] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 26 points 1 month ago

This is why friends don't let friends watch Friends

[–] lian_drake@lemmy.world 23 points 4 weeks ago

Carbon monoxide does things you know... open those fking windows.

[–] MutantTailThing@lemmy.world 22 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

If you think that’s bad, wait untill a lamp starts looking a little weird.

[–] BrickEater@lemmy.world 5 points 4 weeks ago

Dude fuck you I think about that all the time. Much of my life lately has odd coincidences that feel as if they're extrapolated from my comatose mind after I got shot in 2018. With on particular lamp I've managed to hold onto since then centering the re-occuring thought.

And the fucked up part is I think I'd honestly be happy if I woke up then.

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 11 points 4 weeks ago

They found the Friend Zone.

[–] Psythik@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Guess OP never saw Inception. The time dilation is real.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 6 points 1 month ago

Anon thinks normal experience is unique.

[–] ApathyTree@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 month ago (5 children)

This sort of thing is exactly why I don't take naps anymore. It happened a few too many times and it’s genuinely a horrible experience. Incredibly vivid. I got the sensation I could feel my actual body being unable to move. So no more naps no matter how tired I am.

[–] terranoid@lemmy.cafe 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

man the fuck up and explore the astral plane

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[–] Psythik@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Did you know that if you smoke weed every day, you will stop dreaming entirely? It messes with REM sleep, but it's the only way I can get any sleep at all; legalization was a quite a few years ago now where I live so I haven't had a dream in forever.

Just something to consider if you have easy access to cannabis in your jurisdiction.

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