this post was submitted on 13 Sep 2025
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IMO anon’s statement about body count was badly phrased, but it makes sense for me under limited circumstances.
For the last few decades, my opinion has held firm on a simple philosophy:
If I never ask out a woman I’m interested in, and they date guy after guy, then I have nothing to complain about. They never knew about my interest, and so they were never given the chance to accept or reject my interest. There is no way in hell that I could hold their body count against them, and I have only myself to blame for not stepping up and asking them out when I had the chance.
But if I do ask a woman out, and they clearly and immediately reject me in favour of someone else, then I am obviously not an interest for them. They have clearly and unambiguously rejected me, so what standing do I have to not believe that? You can’t get a more sure sign. If they then rack up other relationships, each and every one of those is another nail in the coffin of any potential relationship. They have made an explicit statement that I am of far less desirability than other options, and that door closes permanently, and gets barred and locked for good measure.
Because if she comes sniffing around again, then it is screamingly obvious that I am not her second-best, third-best, or even n^th best option… I am her backup-backup-backup plan that she is “settling for” because all of her better options ran out.
And at that point… thanks but no thanks. That’s a path down which I have absolutely no desire to trod, because down that path lies doubt and second-guessing that can only poison me, my mental health, and my happiness. If she had no interest in me when I asked, then I will absolutely trust her for having told me the complete truth, and I will hold that truth as unchanging, unimpeachable gospel.
Incel behavior
Care to expand why? I'm genuinely curious.
Completely overlooking the fact that people grow, mature and change as they get older, just to play the wounded victim.
Are we reading the same post? I don't see wounded victim, I see OP saying no (for any reason), then see a hypocrite throwing a tantrum, and the OP being hurt by the hypocrisy and the tantrum?
And you calling him an incel for that? Was he supposed to bend over and suddenly get interested because that's what she wants?
In your head how OP should behave here to not be an "incel"?
Ah, there is that ad hominem I was expecting to crop up at some point, seeking to publicly shame me into silence.
And it’s a perfect example of intellectual bankruptcy, where someone is so bereft of a counterargument that the only tools left to them are those of shaming and ridicule. It’s feelings before facts, of a rage-consumed person so desperately intent on furthering their anti-male gender bigotry simply because that man exercises equal rights.
Because isn’t that what women have been fighting for over the last century? For the ability to say “thanks, but no thanks” and the ability to permanently close a metaphorical relationship door for whatever reason she deems personally appropriate?
Or is it “rights for me, but not for thee”? Is it that men simply do not have the right to say no, and do not have the right to permanently close that metaphorical door?
C’mon, this is the platform where you can let your anti-male gender bigotry shine! Don’t be shy! Be the flaming hypocrite you were meant to be!!
Mate I'm not gonna comment on anything else you've said, but it's very funny to see you immediately whine about an "ad hominem" given your other very personal insults and aggressive tone in other comments in this larger thread lol, it's like... Grow a pair and insult people, or whinge about being insulted. Don't do both 😂
Oh, yes. Because criticizing someone’s lack of real-world experience - with context - is so very much like trying to shame a person into silence by attacking their character instead of their argument.
Like, apples and oranges are the same species, no?
Nuance, due. It exists. It’s a real thing.
Man you are wound up so tight
And too much of this world is painted with the same fucking brush, when that’s the worst possible thing that can be done.
Too many people taking too many cognitive shortcuts, refusing to dig deeper or acknowledge details and differences or even accept facts and evidence over their pet ideologies because it’s too hard for their pablum-fed goldfish brains to handle.
So I push back. Sometimes a slap in the face wakes people up when nothing else does.
Sometimes I see the gender wars between you two feels like the moden day equivalent of cointelpro.
Both men and women are hurting on some level, and in recent times both of them lash out at one another. I think the biggest reason is that gender recently has been politicised (not 1:1 mind you), being primarly men on the right, and women primarly on the left.
And some people just read waaaayyyy too much into things. Then there are people like you, who read the entire room wrong.
Asshole behaviour and systemic gender bigotry deserves being called out. That’s all I did. Nothing more. There is only one person who lashed out here, and it wasn’t me.
Tldr