this post was submitted on 21 Nov 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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[–] psx_crab@lemmy.zip 162 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

First one: i analyse sales.

Second one: i automate production

Third one: i'm a fucking idiot

[–] ApertureUA@lemmy.today 26 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)
  1. I
  2. Am
  3. A
  4. Fucking
  5. Idiot

It doesn't fit

[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 25 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)
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[–] _lilith@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago

well the job is BS so...

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[–] Vellaides@lemmy.zip 15 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Fourth one: I murder living beings so humans can eat their mutilated corpses

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[–] Olgratin_Magmatoe@slrpnk.net 86 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

I write code

(It's still a bullshit job)

[–] Ek-Hou-Van-Braai@piefed.social 73 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Quokka@quokk.au 45 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)
[–] okwhateverdude@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
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[–] Axolotl_cpp@feddit.it 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] Zozano@aussie.zone 68 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (8 children)

3 people above the fisherman:

  • sales analyst
  • automation technician
  • software engineer

Fisherman:

  • I operate a decentralized, sustainability-focused aquatic-resource acquisition methodology utilizing precision-guided line-and-lure interface systems to facilitate targeted biomass retrieval.
[–] Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

I think the meme is saying that if you know your job is bullshit, you obfuscate what you do behind a thick layer of corpospeak.

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[–] drath@lemmy.world 59 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] avidamoeba@lemmy.ca 46 points 2 weeks ago

Nice to see you here Mr. President.

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 19 points 2 weeks ago

Ah, it's nice to meet another fellow customer service rep.

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 40 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

So I either have a bullshit job "I design chips for isosychronous low-latency networks" or a real job "I herd electrons"...

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[–] frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone 40 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

Is this really the message we want to send?

Yes, our society makes lots of bullshit jobs. That's because capitalism can only keep people employed by creating bullshit jobs, and unemployed people are six missed meals away from revolution. That is not the fault of the people who have bullshit jobs.

And no, I won't accept "this is just a shitposting sub, lighten up" as a response. This is just another form of kicking down, and it isn't funny. The working class needs solidarity, not this.

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 12 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

When I first saw this (maybe years ago), it was posted on sites to mock this thinking.

Yeah, someone believes it to have made this. But yeah, that person sucks.

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago

Agreed, but I refuse to extend that acceptance to most consultants.

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[–] svcg@lemmy.blahaj.zone 38 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

I write code. ✔️ Real job.

I chop down trees. ❌ Bullshit job.

[–] Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 37 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Is this a war on being specific?

If a fisherman says "I operate the winch on a bowpicker tuna fishing boat", is that a bullshit job?

If a middle-management yes-man who exists only to fluff his boss' ego describes his job as "I encourage excellence" does that mean his job is no longer bullshit?

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[–] Novamdomum@fedia.io 29 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Extreme physical danger of drowning, hypothermia, severe injury, insane hours, unpredictable income, huge mental and emotional stress in an industry that often damages the environment and is plagued with human rights abuses?

This comic feels like it was written by the fisherman.

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Or one of those boomers, who really wanted AI to replace all the intellectual workers, so they either can be stay-at-home mothers or go to "real manly jobs".

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[–] real_squids@sopuli.xyz 25 points 2 weeks ago
[–] Grimy@lemmy.world 20 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I am an aquatic resource acquisition specialist leveraging distributed ecosystem monitoring, real-time biological signal analytics, and manual-mechanical retrieval interfaces to optimize biomass extraction.

[–] P1k1e@lemmy.world 19 points 2 weeks ago
[–] cows_are_underrated@feddit.org 18 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
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[–] dreadbeef@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Can confirm this works, since fullstack is a real job, but I can’t describe my frontend bullshit in 3 words.

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[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago

"I hate it". Does this count?

[–] Limonene@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago (3 children)

"Refrigerator Wifi Firmware"

3 words, but my job is still bullshit.

[–] bigkahuna1986@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 week ago

So you're the guy responsible for ads? Get him everyone!

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[–] HenriVolney@sh.itjust.works 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] BotsRuinedEverything@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)
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[–] myotheraccount@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago (2 children)
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[–] Digit@lemmy.wtf 15 points 2 weeks ago

I make art.

^ real job.

I get disability benefit trapping me in dependence on the system under threat of impoverishment, destitution, starvation, freezing, if i dare ever attempt to do anything productive, or even look like it, or even not. Paid to do nothing.

^ real bullshit job.

Oh what a great system you have there. >:[

[–] Luvs2Spuj@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

My job is bullshit, but my job is not who I am.

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[–] magic_lobster_party@fedia.io 13 points 2 weeks ago

Generate shareholder value

[–] Truscape@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

"Hey look buddy, I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems."

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[–] BilboBargains@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago

OPs has distilled his job title from 'political agitation meme technician' to 'shitposter'.

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 week ago (2 children)
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[–] NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

I fix things.

[–] ethaver@kbin.earth 10 points 2 weeks ago

Refreshments and Narcotics

(an old joke about registered nurses)

[–] Tikiporch@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (9 children)

Saying "I catch fish" is as descriptive as the first guy saying "sales analyst". Second person is a software developer, third guy is a systems architect. So you catch fish? Sure. What kind? On a river? In the ocean? Do you really just press a button that rolls up a big net full of turtles and dolphins as well and you're destroying the delicate balance of a fragile ecosystem? Are you a fishing guide?

Anyone can describe their job in three words. Understanding it is on you, man.

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