Programmer Humor

I don't know about you guys, but my company just mandated RTO a few months ago.

As expected, we now ~~spend~~ waste 8 hours: Commuting, Walking to and from meeting rooms, etc.

And the meetings, and the "collaboration", which are basically non stop all day long now, are just us talking round and round about all the things we need to do and how to do them for the 8th time, without actually doing them. But we sure LOOK really productive and busy. And I guess that's what management wants? Who knows.

With remote work I would do my job for 8+ hours per workday in pure focus mode. Knocking out solution after solution. You want XYZ to happen? Already done, here's a link to it. Have a meeting? Click join Teams call 1 minute early, listen and talk, while continuing to working on XYZ. You think we should try ABC for the XYZ project? Ok, I'll have it ready by tomorrow.

In office work is now spent walking from meeting to meeting, and you gotta leave 15 minutes before and it takes 15 minutes to get back and settled and you did not work on anything during. And they ask "so, how is project XYZ going?" "Good, good. Should be done in a few more weeks." And you maybe work on XYZ for 30 minutes uninterrupted that entire day, decide to skip any testing or QC, skip those extra features, skip checking with other teams if it will impact them, you have to skip all that to get it done on time. And it takes 3 weeks to do a 5 minute task. And it's inferior. And you talk about XYZ every meeting of every day, time after time, updates and statuses and comments on the ticket. And you finally announce you got XYZ completed and it's "yay good job" and management asks how the RTO is going and everyone is terrified to say "this is stupid and a gigantic waste of everyone's time and your money to put us in a giant expensive building just to not work on work, but to talk about working on work and we are getting only 10% done vs remote work". So we say "oh, fine" and management puts a little golden star on their report they made for themselves and they feel all warm and fuzzy that work is going great.

And thus, project XYZ was finally completed. A task that would have taken 1 person a few hours to do remotely, has now taken 8 people, 3 weeks of in office meetings and status updates and endless interruptions and discussions over every aspect of the project over and over again to finally complete. But we all LOOKED super busy doing it. And that's the important thing.

I'm personally, loving the RTO. I thought I would hate it, but I get to talk with friends all day and sit in meetings and daydream and the day flies by and I barely turned my brain on.

I'm happy to just do my job at home uninterrupted at my desk, but they sure don't seem to want that, so fine. Hope that works out.