this post was submitted on 29 Sep 2025
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[–] UnpledgedCatnapTipper@piefed.blahaj.zone 7 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Singular they is over 600 years old by the way: https://www.oed.com/discover/a-brief-history-of-singular-they/?tl=true

As a trans person, my gender dysphoria is not something caused entirely by social gender roles. Medical transition has greatly alleviated the majority of it. Anecdotally, within the first week of hormone therapy, my dysphoria improved dramatically while only being out of the closet to 2 people outside of my therapist and the medical professionals who prescribed my hormones. It has continued to improve, although I'm still waiting for the surgery that will resolve the remaining things that hormones can't fix.

Also, there are studies around brain structure differences between men and women, and transgender people tended to have brain structures in line with their gender, not their assigned sex at birth: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_gender_incongruence#Brain_structure

Perhaps you should believe people when they tell you who they are, and get past your discomfort drawing arbitrary lines in grammar regarding pronouns, when singular they predates the fall of the Byzantine Empire by 75 years.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 3 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Singular they is over 600 years old by the way

Sure, and "you" used to be exclusively plural. Language changes, and now you is exclusively singular in some parts of the world (e.g. the US "South" where "y'all" is the plural).

I want separate singular and plural pronouns. Some languages do this properly and don't even have gendered pronouns, such as Tagalog:

  • he/she/singular they - siya(possessive = niya)
  • plural he/she/they - sila (possessive = nila)
  • singular you - iyo (possessive = niyo)
  • plural you - inyo (possessive = ninyo)

there are studies around brain structure differences between men and wome

Sure, but sample sizes are small and many times they don't seem to control for hormone therapy.

That said, this one looks interesting:

A 2009 MRI study by Luders et al. found that among 24 trans women not treated with hormone therapy, regional gray matter concentrations were more similar to those of cisgender men than of cisgender women, but there was a significantly greater volume of gray matter in the right putamen compared to cisgender men. Like earlier studies, researchers concluded that transgender identity was associated with a distinct cerebral pattern.

And this one:

Rametti et al. (2011) studied 18 trans men who had not undergone hormone therapy using diffusion tensor imaging (DTI), an MRI technique which allows visualizing white matter, the structure of which is sexually dimorphic. Rametti et al. discovered that the trans men's white matter, compared to 19 cisgender gynephilic females, showed higher fractional anisotropy values in posterior part of the right SLF, the forceps minor and corticospinal tract". Compared to 24 cisgender males, they showed only lower FA values in the corticospinal tract. The white matter patterns in trans men were found to be shifted in the direction of cis men.

And this review of other studies:

A 2021 review of brain studies published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that "although the majority of neuroanatomical, neurophysiological, and neurometabolic features" in transgender people "resemble those of their natal sex rather than those of their experienced gender", for trans women they found feminine and demasculinized traits, and vice versa for trans men.

This suggests there may be developmental differences between trans and cis individuals, and there seems to be a correlation between trans people and the sex associated with the gender they identify as.

The body of available science certainly indicates more researchis needed and could lead to answers that show exactly what differences exist between cis and trans people. I sincerely hope that happens. But as it stands,the research isn't conclusive.

Perhaps you should believe people when they tell you who they are

Let's be extremely clear here, my support for policy will not be impacted whatsoever by the scientific research, regardless of the outcome. If you feel like hormone therapy or gender reassignment surgery or whatever other treatments will help you, you should be able to get them. Full stop. If you want to be treated as a man or a woman, I'll do that. If you want to be called by different pronouns, I'll do my best to do it, I just don't like pronouns that are both singular and plural because they can lead to confusion. That's it.

If there was a generally accepted gender-neutral set of pronouns (like in my example), I'd use them nearly exclusively. If the scientific evidence was clear cut, I'd admit as much. Neither is the case, so I'm left to find a happy medium that works for my and others in my life.

[–] jaycifer@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

When I consider changes to language, I try to start from a prescriptivist position rather than a descriptivist, which to me means assuming language should stay static to ensure a common understanding rather than fragmented meanings that lead to misunderstandings. If there is a change in language, it should justify itself through simplifying terms or adding a new meaning that other words lack, while avoiding harming the meanings of pre-existing words.

I use they/them pronouns for non-binary people as an example of this mindset in action because I think the benefits far outweigh any cons. With a greater understanding that non-binary people new language was needed, and they/them seems to me a very natural fit as I would already think to use it when asking about a stranger even before I knew of non-binary as a concept (“oh your friend is coming? What’s their name, are they a boy or a girl?). In my experience having a very close non-binary friend I have found that context tells whether I’m using they as a singular/plural pronoun ~90% of the time, and when it fails it adds maybe 20 seconds of clarification to explain I was referring to person’s name.

I think what you’re saying should be taken as inspiration for further evolving how we use those terms to better separate between singular and plural use rather than try backtracking on how it has already evolved in common use, and I think the answer (for me at least) lies in your very comment. Much like “you” vs “you all”, going forward I’ll put a little effort into using they/them in a singular context and use “them all” or “they all” as a plural. Maybe it will catch on and 30 years from now we’ll be saying “theyal” and “theyal’ll” as shorthand for “they all” and “they all will.”

“theyal” and “theyal’ll” as shorthand for “they all” and “they all will.”

Oof, "they'll'll" sounds awful.

I wish we could use "it" instead, but unfortunately, that's offensive since it has connections to inanimate objects and non-human animals. If we could somehow break that meaning, maybe we'd get somewhere w/ a gender-neutral, third person singular pronoun. Or maybe we can use one of the created ones (though per/pers is awful IMO). But we also have words that don't have gender-neutral terms, such as uncle/aunt, but for some reason we do have many others, like cousin.

It's an annoying nut to crack, which is why I tend to use people's names more and only use they/them when there is no reasonable alternative.