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Reading that is wild
Why are you doing Arch on a server? You want to tinker forever and read the update notes like a hawk lest the server implode forever?
Arch isn’t gonna be noticeably leaner than Debian.
Get Debian, install docker and/or podman, set unattended upgrades, and then install Incus if you need VMs or containers down the line. You can stick on ZFS and it’ll be fine, you already have BTRFS for basic mirrors. Install Cockpit and you’ll have a nice GUI. Try not to think you have to fiddle with settings, the maintainers for each package/service have set it so it works for most people (and we’re most people!); you’ll only need to intervene on an handful of package configs. All set and it’s not proprietary.
There was a thread yesterday where most people were choosing arch for their server, I didn't get it either. Like you, I'd much rather Debian or something else with smoother updates.
Agreed, I run arch on my desktop and laptop, because it is more stable (in the sense of fewer bugs, things like suspend/resume works reliably for example) than any other distro I have used.
But on my VPS and my Pi I run Debian because it is more stable (in the sense of fewer upgrades that could break things). I can enable unattended upgrades there, which I would never do on my Arch system (though it is incredibly rare for those to break).
Also: if someone said they were a (self proclaimed) "semi noob" I would not recommend Arch. I have used Linux since 2002, and as my main OS since 2006. (Furthermore I'm a software developer in C/C++/Rust.) While Arch is a great distro, don't start with Arch.