this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2025
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Nah but for real if some random stranger at a bar overheard me saying I'm single and then came up to me and my friends like that I would be a little creeped out too.
I wouldn't be mean about it, but I definitely wouldn't say yes.
For sure and that's alright. But at the same time pubs are called that because they are a public space, hence you usually don't expect actual privacy and it's what leads to moments of joy when things randomly fall into place. Could be creepy, could be magical. Anon gave it a try, failed his landing (asking a girl out was a bit much, he could have just offered a drink and joined in on the convo), but he shouldn't feel so bad about it.
It sucks that he doesn't have mates he can laugh about it with though. That's the real tragedy to me.
This is definitely one of those 'creepy if ugly' moments. If he was a handsome guy, it would be romantic and has almost definitely happened in a million Hallmark movies.
Listening in on conversations is creepy, no matter how good-looking a person is.
And that stuff happens in movies doesn't mean it isn't creepy in real-life.
Not really. If you were discussing with somebody about some terminal illness you were raising money for and somebody approached and said: "Sorry, but I overheard what you said and I'd love to donate, if that's okay" that would not be creepy in the slightest.
There is a difference between 'overhearing' and 'purposefully spying'
Well, OP wasn't donating money, was he?
The scenario you brought up would be creepy too, but people tend to value money over the slight discomfort of creepiness.
In what world is it creepy to overhear somebody saying something in a public place? Have you ever been in a social situation before?
In what world is it not creepy to butt into some strangers' personal conversation after overhearing details that were clearly not addressed to you?
Have you ever been in a social situation before?
There is context and nuance to everything. If you think this situation is ALWAYS creepy then I'm afraid you are objectively incorrect.
Children walk up to each other on a playground and butt in and make friends happily. Why do you want us all to be boring robots that never interface?
You are probably not wrong, super attractive people can get away with cringy things. Wouldn't be a good strategy for an average looking person, however.
If he was handsome it would still be creepy
Handsome/Ugly is in the eye of the person, remember. Just because one person found you not attractive, doesn't mean they all do.
Fuck Hallmark movies, Don't make me vomit
Of course everyone is entitled to have their own opinion of what is beautiful. But there are some pretty obvious statistical convergences.
Sure, but personally, I don't give a fuck about that. I don't find conventionally attractive people, good looking. They don't do it for me. And If I, just one person feels this way, and I've met other's like this too, there must be more.
Just tryin to put that beacon of hope out.
Sure. But I think it is better to set realistic expectations. After all, it you don't expect much, then you won't feel so bad when it doesn't manifest. With false hope, you are crushed each time your hopes don't meet reality. In the long run, realistic expectations serve us better because we can see how our efforts lead us to the results we desire.
This isn't to say that conventionally unattractive people should give up all hope and dispair. It just means they should temper their expectations relative to their more attractive counterparts, and should focus on things which are within their circle of control, like fitness, grooming, style, lifestyle, mindset, and number of people talked to.
Both those things, saving hope, while going into things with no expectations or "realistic" expectations are both very compatible.
You can have realistic hope. It's exactly as you describe in your second paragraph. Good stuff.
"Hello, Human Resources??"
It's not so much creepy if ugly, so much as creepy if not confident.
And the way to become confident in something is to do it a bunch of times.
Lesson being, it's okay if someone thinks you're creepy. You're just in the process of developing a new skill.
Impossible. It's the females!
*insert Skinner meme*
Not even if I was a two headed Brad Pitt with the body of the strongest Chris?