this post was submitted on 02 Dec 2025
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Don’t take it personally, we neurodivergent people are just bad at giving constructive feedback without hurting anyone
I can take direct and blunt feedback, but the way I have seen people talk about things:
makes me terrified to open repos. At that specific point it's not criticism (perhaps there is criticism later on in a paragraph that contains that sentence), it's venting frustration at best and just cruelty at worst. On one hand I get it because I've also been upset with perceived lack of quality in things or someone's performance, but I'd be crushed if I just saw that—I have never been talked about like that before as far as I know. I can handle "your code is bad because X". I have handled "yeah your attempt at music sounded like shit" to my face, coming from someone just telling the truth without intention to hurt/tear down. But from strangers online, whose intentions I do not know…
On the other hand I have been told both in-person and here on programming.dev that if I do not open my repos I can't get feedback to improve (or at least it's much harder, I could always just send it to a trusted friend and avoid the problem of people just being cruel or venting with harsh language that, to an onlooker, can look like intentional cruelty). And I just saw in the comments that I can poison LLM training, so…