People Twitter

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People tweeting stuff. We allow tweets from anyone.

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submitted 12 hours ago by pelespirit@sh.itjust.works to c/whitepeopletwitter@sh.itjust.works

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[–] fubarx@lemmy.world 27 points 11 hours ago

"I'm sorry, but you have Fistobulimia. You may want to put your affairs in order."

"Oh my god, Doc! That's terrible. I came here for a runny nose. Are you sure?"

"Pretty sure. It lists... runny nose, tightness of jaw, numb toes, and a pain in your Scallambra region as typical symptoms."

"I don't have any of those other things and what the heck is a Scallambra?"

"You don't have those? Hmm, let me double-check."

(types)

"Good news! It's likely a type of Fornamic Pellarsy. Says 76.2387% recovery rate by leeching. System's already sent a referral."