or, y'know, you could sit down. saves on cleaning even when you fail at handling your dick.
this post was submitted on 05 Nov 2025
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You apparently have no idea the dick's talent for aiming for the crack between the seat and rim, no matter how you go about "tucking" it downwards to try to prevent just that. Even sitting, leaning so far forward your hands are on the floor, is no guarantee.
I'm glad to learn that mine lacks that talent. I never even knew that was a thing.
I agree that this can happen, but at least its pretty rare. Standing while peeing however makes a mess in a radius around the toilet every time. I mean, when you live alone and have no guests ever then this might not be an issue, but in every other case it's pretty nasty.
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But then you risk it touching the inside parts of the toilet which is nasty
clean your toilet mr long schlong
So the options are: pee sitting down and always have clean the inside of the toilet. Or pee standing up, and sometimes clean what you missed
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Growers win again
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So there's this really cool trick:
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Face AWAY from the toilet with the heels of your feet close to the base.
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Un-button/tie/velcro/zip the whole waistband (not just the fly) such that you can-
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Lower your entire pants to the floor.
Now this part can be a bit tricky and does take some practice to keep your balance but
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Bend your knees down into a squat while leaning ever so slightly backwards (you can put a hand on a nearby solid object such as the sink or a wall to steady yourself. They also make raised seats with handles on either side if you need help with this).
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Situate your buttocks firmly on the seat.
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Separate your thighs such that you can
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Point your penis down between your legs towards the toilet bowl.
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Proceed to urinate.
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Hygiene is the same as peeing using other techniques.
This technique is all but foolproof; it is almost impossible to miss the toilet bowl.
Hope this helps!
You forgot to state that the lid should be up
Now I've got piss everywhere
OK you have a point that I will only grant because I'm so used to finding the lid left up despite my best efforts but you are correct.
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Sitting can be very difficult first thing in the morning sometimes. Well, not the sitting part but the getting your dick to point down into the bowl part.
On those days you lie down on the toilet in a planking position, penis pointing down into the toilet
Some mornings, after you sit, you need to bend over until your forehead is on your feet.
I prefer to put my hands on the floor and lift my feet up against the wall.
You forgot the most important step:
- Wash your roommates hairy ass grease off the seat.
Usually why I stand.
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Pee sitting down, you coward
And close the lid before flushing, you nasties
(Added benefit: no arguing)
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Seriously. Why stand, miss, clean up your own piss (now or later), then repeat all that every time? Also: standing causes splashing - it NEVER all goes into the bowl.
It'll shock you to learn that most men don't bother wiping after peeing, either. They just let it drip in their underwear.
For those of you that might say it doesn't matter — I am living proof of your error. You can wipe your dick after peeing, I know — outlandish.
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"Me and my dick no longer see eye to eye."
"...That's probably for the best, ophthalmologically speaking."
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So this happens because the urethra loses moisture and welds shut, then pee chooses the least-resistance path. If you can't pee sitting ('cause it's easier), one trick is to clamp your dick and push to pee, then release. The pressure will open the urethra wide and a beautiful, directed stream of piss will come out. Also, pull your foreskin back when peeing and clean afterwards with a dab of toilet paper. Fellating persons will thank you!
I stopped reading at "clamp your dick"
That trick works. Before you pee, gently squeeze the tip vertically to open up the urethra.
Usually I just slam mine in the door, twice for best results.
I do it regardless if I need to pee or not
I think there's a gulf of difference between 'gently squeeze' and 'clamp your dick', but ok.
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Anon needs to add "pee" between the fapping and sleeping in his bedtime routine, and the leftover spunk won't be around to do that.
wait until this guy sits down to pee without paying attention to how things are hanging and feels it running down his calves
ask me how I know
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I just piss into a wet vac
Hard to miss when it sucks the pee out
how is space?
I'll pee sitting down sometimes in my own home but peeing sitting down with a penis in a public restroom is gross. Regardless of whether your dick aims at the water or the side of the bowl that's a lot of fine spray of toilet microbiota landing on your junk and undercarriage. Better to just piss everywhere all over the seat and stay pure
Piss after jacking off, anon.
Sit the fuck down.
Its good to make sitting the default, especially in a hurry, but another option available to non-catholics is to gently flex and stretch the hose to prevent sides of the urethra from being stuck together.
Just a quick rotational movement.
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Bros jerking too much and he isn’t cleaning his tip.
Check the meatus for lint. Somehow, there's always fucking lint!
Mine got chopped off 9 years ago.
Well inverted and made into a vagina, but the former is how most people seem to think it works.
Do not miss the penis
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The perks of living alone. You just flush and go about your day.
Pee sitting down?????
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