America, Police, Safe. Hmmm.
this post was submitted on 11 Nov 2025
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Kevin: Hello officer, I was left alone at home.
Officer: Sure kid, let me call for someone to pick you up... Zed? The spider just caught a little fly.
Kevin went full ACAB.
So, you're saying someone(s) in his family orchestrated the "accident" of leaving him behind and taking a flight to escape his inevitable psychotic break?
That tracks.
The entire family was in on it. They spent exorbitant amounts of money trying to get away from him, three times, and he mercilessly tracked them down across the globe, casually dispatching away the hitmen they sent after him
I would watch this —especially if it were done today w/ Caulkin reprising his role. (and entirely ignoring the very existence of the recent "sequel", ofc)
Prepping for the Good Son movie role
The Good Son theory of Home Alone.
“You like The Wiggles? Their early music was a little too New Wave for my tastes…”
Every white suburban man’s wet dream.