this post was submitted on 25 Nov 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] TabbsTheBat@pawb.social 110 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"Guys I just started buddhism and so far it has just been sitting quietly, and destroying sand mandalas, when does it get to the good stuff like reincarnation? Can I skip the first season and start with 2 or will this have important plot ramifications?"

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@piefed.world 51 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

"Is there an in-universe way to pay myself forward? It's taking too long and the grind makes me bored out of my mind".

[–] TheFriendlyDickhead@feddit.org 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yes you can. Just send 500$ in playstation gift cards to the following address: 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, N.W. Washington, DC 20500

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[–] MutantTailThing@lemmy.world 98 points 1 week ago (8 children)

These guys really think not beating their meat will improve their life in a significant way?

[–] random_character_a@lemmy.world 88 points 1 week ago (2 children)

You really can't be a proper christian, unless you want to fuck everything in sight and at the same time feel disgusted and ashamed by it.

[–] tired_n_bored@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

You here have explained the root reason of so much bigotry and hatred

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[–] ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 50 points 1 week ago (1 children)

They think attacking the symptoms is attacking the cause...

[–] then_three_more@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] FireRetardant@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago

It can if they currently have an unhealthy habit or addiction to fapping or porn.

[–] Deceptichum@quokk.au 6 points 1 week ago

They really think believing in magical sky daddies will improve their life in any way at all.

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[–] db2@lemmy.world 42 points 1 week ago (2 children)

It basically is though, it's larping.

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 34 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Stop insulting us LARPers. What have we ever done to deserve it?

[–] codemankey@programming.dev 8 points 1 week ago

It’s larping for people without a sense of humour.

[–] ZkhqrD5o@lemmy.world 41 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (8 children)

"Starting noFap in 1/2 months."

I already sense some strong dedication here. I once knew a bloke who also did noFap. After one month he woke up in the middle of the night, his penis glowing red and aching so much that it woke him up. He barely touched his penis and then proceeded to create the biggest mess he'd ever seen on the bathroom floor. Ever since then he thought that this can't be healthy and stopped.

[–] AppleTea@lemmy.zip 36 points 1 week ago (4 children)
[–] Deceptichum@quokk.au 32 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Santa asked him to guide his sleigh.

Santas going to get sleighed tonight.

[–] ZkhqrD5o@lemmy.world 28 points 1 week ago

In the dark.

[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Semen becomes bioluminescent if too much of it accretes. The red was the blood vessels.

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[–] FireRetardant@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago

Im my experience I end up with wet dreams well before an erection is going to wake me up.

[–] tias@discuss.tchncs.de 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yes, "a friend" surely told you this story from his personal life.

[–] kurwa@lemmy.world 21 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Some motherfuckers share too much

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[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 1 week ago

Wait did he stop nofap or stop masturbating on the bathroom floor in the middle of the night?

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

I once encountered a coworker who had a friend who participated in no shave November.

According to the coworker, at the end of the month the friend quit his job, bought a bunch of flannel, and opened a brewery.

I never met the friend in question, but according to the coworker that's a true story.

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[–] AmericanEconomicThinkTank@lemmy.world 40 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Most folk just want direction. Sometimes all it takes is the right social club to change a lifetime of political direction.

[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 23 points 1 week ago

Sometimes all it takes is joining a cult

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago

Yeah a lot of them are pretty open about going to Christianity because they're directionless. It offers purpose, direction, and community. That all is something the left has struggled to provide to these people (but it absolutely can). So yeah, talk to the directionless young men in your life about food not bombs and union organizing or the right will.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I agree. For a lot of people, politics is just a hobby that they've sunk their entire identity into. Like the new golfer that starts buying all sorts of clubs and gear, or the new woodworker who has to buy every tool before he makes a single cutting board, etc.

They discover politics, and the next thing you know, they're wearing star-spangled ties in the office, they've got stickers all over their bumper, they've programmed their car radio presets to nothing but conservative talk stations, they develop a snear whenever they say the word Liberal, etc.

They just need a new hobby. Get them a new bicycle, and in a month they'll have a $5000 Italian racing bike, all the tight spandex clothes, special expensive shoes with locking cleats, $300 Oakleys, etc. They'll be a pain in the ass on the roads, but at least they'll be too busy riding to vote.

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

looks at his garage full of woodworking tools

I didn't come here to be called out. I just need a jointer then I'll finally be able to make stuff

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[–] renzhexiangjiao@piefed.blahaj.zone 29 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)
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[–] tomiant@piefed.social 27 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I stopped watching the Old Testament when I came to Chronicles, at which point I gave up. How do you introduce 900 new characters in a single chapter...

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 1 week ago

It's even worse than that, they introduce them and then like 90% of them are never mentioned ever again.

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 25 points 1 week ago

Oh boy, speed running to christian nationalism.

[–] Mikina@programming.dev 25 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (5 children)

That's actually exactly how the 70s "chaos magick" (I.e Peter J. Caroll or Phill Hine, to list some authors) occultism works. If you get past the cringy name, it was one of the more interesting occultistm movements which actually kind of make sense even to me, as someone who's not really into esoterism (or rather - I like researching it because it's extremely interesting - the actual formal occultism, not new age bullshit, but would feel dumb practicing since I'm skeptical)

Their core idea is that all of the other occultist movements and orders are basically all the same - through belief, rituals and symbols you affect your subconscious to manifest change (in your subconscious behavior, not "summoning money" or "cursing my ex"), and it doesn't matter what "flavor" / dogma / lore you choose to believe in. What matters is that you really truly belive.

So, a wiccan making circles in a forest while invoicing spirits or someone making a pizza pentagram while invoking Garfield is the same,as long as he believes into it.

The only thing that matters is that it works for you, and to find what does and what doesn't they work with "paradigm shifts", where you decide that " I"m going to try wicca for a year", and then you delve deep into that practice, trying to trully accept it and go all in, noting your experience and results, to see if it works for you. Some even suggest throwing a dice each morning to see what you'll do today.

After a year, you review your results, and move on to other practice, I.e "I'll be a christian for a year", and you really get into it, going to churches, practicing all the daily prayers and rituals, and the like.

It's my favorite occultism movement, because it's one of the few where I can imagine that it actually makes sense and could work for making your life better, if you have grounded expectations of course. Having an open mind and just experimenting, as long as you are safe and don't let it control your life, should mostly be just a net-positive, plus it's actually fun

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[–] AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 20 points 1 week ago

Can't start no fap right away gotta wait till his PH membership expires

[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I guess he's going Catholic specifically?

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[–] einlander@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Superbook and Flying House are anime about the Bible and Christianity.

[–] Themosthighstrange@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

Anon gonna molest kids in his local church soon

[–] DupaCycki@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] CXORA@aussie.zone 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Huh two whole weeks to stop jerking off. Boy is going to be bruised

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[–] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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