this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2025
199 points (84.7% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

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2512 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

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3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

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4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

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5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

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all 30 comments
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[–] red_bull_of_juarez@lemmy.dbzer0.com 61 points 5 days ago (3 children)

I read this joke and then guessed the username. I guessed correctly.

[–] papalonian@lemmy.world 50 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Really horny and straight (potentially mildly misogynistic): Mickey7

Really horny and really gay: Stamets

I don't think there's anyone else here

[–] caseyweederman@lemmy.ca 4 points 5 days ago

I'm bi, do I straddle them both?

[–] phony@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago (3 children)
[–] papalonian@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Haven't seen that guy in a while. With the nonstop hyper specific vaguely disturbing questions.

Edit: last post, 2 weeks ago: How would you feel about a successful 28 year old woman dating a 22 year old college student?

[–] helpImTrappedOnline@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

I blocked that one. That means I'll live forever right?

[–] MajorasTerribleFate@lemmy.zip 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Maybe I should stay where I am ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[–] Griffus@lemmy.zip 2 points 5 days ago

Best block ever for enjoying Lemmy, combined with as much US politics based as possible.

[–] stephan262@lemmy.world 22 points 5 days ago (1 children)

But then the dad gives him another condom and a wink.

[–] victorz@lemmy.world 9 points 5 days ago

That would really top off the joke.

[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 10 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Unless the kid was planning on a single spoot per partner, he would need more than 3 condoms. Pharmacist should have warned him smh, lost business opportunity.

[–] Griffus@lemmy.zip 3 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Started reading "Young lad" in the melody. Third word disappointed. Will go back to reading the rest now, just wanted to share my experience so far.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago

Started reading “Young lad” in the melody.

House of fun?