this post was submitted on 03 Dec 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] Nomorereddit@lemmy.today 2 points 22 hours ago

Name them? Like in the never ending story?

[–] MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

The guy from Monty Python (and his friends)

[–] abbiistabbii@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 22 hours ago

Chapman: It trying to remember if he turned off the stove.

Idle: Has asked for the manager to complain, but turns out the manager is right about everything and he's realizing that just now.

Jones: Waiting for the bus, looking forward to the Pizza that is in his fridge.

Palin: "Hey kids, do you wanna see a dead body."

Cleese: Has just conceived of a new, exciting way to commit arson.

Gilliam: Not pictured because the new, exciting way to commit arson involved his car.

[–] Ozymandias1688@feddit.org 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Wasn't there this sad story of one of the members who would much rather have become a lumberjack? Leaping from tree to tree? As they float down the rivers of British Columbia? The Fir, the larch, the mighty Scots pine...

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 60 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 21 points 2 days ago (2 children)

The People’s Front of Judea

[–] Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 17 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The Judean People’s Front!!!

[–] RestrictedAccount@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

People’s, Front, of Judea…. pft

[–] Zagam@piefed.social 14 points 2 days ago
[–] alias_qr_rainmaker@lemmy.world 22 points 2 days ago

Jesus and the Christs

[–] Thorry@feddit.org 40 points 2 days ago (1 children)

On second thought, let's not, for it is a silly place.

[–] NichEherVielleicht@feddit.org 15 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Good. Now, why do witches burn?

[–] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 16 points 2 days ago (1 children)

..because they’re made of wood…?

[–] NichEherVielleicht@feddit.org 11 points 2 days ago (5 children)

Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?

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[–] HenriVolney@sh.itjust.works 33 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

Their best record is titled I fart in your general direction

[–] Digit@lemmy.wtf 1 points 22 hours ago

My fave, You Don't Need To Follow Anybody.

With its catchy lyrics...

Look, you've got it all wrong.

You don't need to follow me.

You don't need to follow anybody!

You've got to think for yourselves!

You're all individuals!

You're all different!

You've all got to work it out for yourselves.

Don't let anyone tell you what to do!

[–] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 16 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Good one. The Black Beast of Aaaaargghh is also quite a banger

[–] NichEherVielleicht@feddit.org 11 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Strange women lyin' in ponds

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[–] Diddlydee@feddit.uk 26 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Dead Parrot. It's the album cover for Your Mother Smells of Elderberries. Sick rhymes.

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[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 6 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

This is Toad The Wet Sprocket, of course!

"Rex Stardust, lead electric triangle with Toad The Wet Sprocket, has had to have an elbow removed following their recent successful worldwide tour of Finland. Flamboyant, ambidextrous Rex apparently fell off the back of a motorcycle. "Fell off the back of a motorcyclist, most likely," quipped ace drummer Jumbo McClooney on hearing of the accident. Plans are already afoot for a major tour of Iceland.

"Divorced after only eight minutes, popular television singing star Charisma changed her mind on the way out of the registry office, when she realised she'd married one of the Donkeys by mistake. The evening before, in LA's glittering night spot The Abbatoir, she'd proposed to drummer Reg Abbott of Blind Drunk, after a whirlwind romance and a knee-trembler. But when the hangover lifted, it was Keith Sly of the Donkeys who was on her arm in the registry office. Keith, who was too ill to notice, remained unsteady during the short ceremony and, when asked to exchange vows, began to recite names and addresses of people who also used the stuff. Charisma spotted the error as Keith was being carried into the wedding ambulance, and became emotionally upset. However, the mistake was soon cleared up, and she stayed long enough to consummate their divorce.

"Dead Monkeys are to split up again, according to their manager Lefty Goldblatt. They've been in the business now ten years, nine as other groups. Originally the Dead Salmon, they became, for a while, Trout, then Fried Trout, then Poached Trout In A White Wine Sauce, and finally, Herring. Splitting up for nearly a month, they reformed as Red Herring, which became Dead Herring for a while, and then Dead Loss, which reflected the current state of the group. Splitting up again to get their heads together, they reformed a fortnight later as Heads Together, a tight little name which lasted them through a difficult period when their drummer was suspected of suffering from death. It turned out to be only a rumour, and they became Dead Together, then Dead Gear, which led to Dead Donkeys, Lead Donkeys, and the inevitable splitup. After nearly ten days, they reformed again as Sole Meunière, then Dead Sole, Rock Cod, Turbot, Haddock, White Bait, the Plaices, Fish, Bream, Mackerel, Salmon, Poached Salmon, Poached Salmon in a White Wine Sauce, Salmon Meunière, and Helen Shapiro. This last name, their favourite, had to be dropped following an injunction, and they split up again. When they reformed after a record-breaking two days, they ditched the fishy references and became Dead Monkeys, a name which they stuck with for the rest of their careers. Now, a fortnight later, they've finally split up."

[–] iMastari@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] too_high_for_this@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern-schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dingle-dangle-dongle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kurstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-ein-nürnburger-bratwustle-gerspurten-mitzweimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shönendanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Ding! Di dum dididdledi dumpdidum
dedurdledurdledur,
[Monty Python's Flying Circususususss!]
Di dum dididdledi deedidum
dedurdledurdledur.
Di dum dididdledi dumpdidum
dedoodideedidee:
Diroodididdledi,
roodididdledi
yurdiyurdiyur;

yai Bababada bungdi burbur
bor bung bah,
ba Dabada bunki burbar
bur bor bung;
di Bumpry ubbidy bum bam,
Dumpyubiddy bar,
be Yumpy dumpy dar dum,
Bee bar BLTHBTHLP!

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 17 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Monties With Attitude,

Straight Outta Camelot

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[–] khepri@lemmy.world 20 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Everyone trying to look serious or intellectual and Cleese just grinning like an idiot in the background love it

[–] bstix@feddit.dk 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The picture is from 1970. John Cleese is 30 or 31 years old in that picture...

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 14 points 2 days ago

I am 100% certain that if they were a band their name would be And Now For Something Completely Different.

[–] DylanMc6@lemmy.ml 6 points 2 days ago (3 children)

wenn ist das nunstück git und slotermeyer? ja, beiherhund das oder die flipperwaldt gersput

[–] glorkon@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Die ist ein Kinnerhunder und zwei Mackeluber und der bitte schön ist den Wunderhaus sprechensie. "Nein", sprecht der Herren, "Ist aufern borger mit zveitingen".

[–] DylanMc6@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

wenn ist das nunstrück git und slotermeyer? ja, beiherhund das oder die flipperwaldt gersput.

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[–] Rhaedas@fedia.io 17 points 2 days ago

They originally were the Knights Who Say Ni, but broke up for a while for some solo work, then reunited as The Knights Who Say Ekki Ekki Ekki Pitang Zoom Boing. Best rap album ever, with the chart topper "Only a Flesh Wound".

[–] ryan213@lemmy.ca 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Digit@lemmy.wtf 2 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Simultaneously the best and worst answer.

Now I have the lumberjacks song stuck in my head all day.

[–] ryan213@lemmy.ca 1 points 22 hours ago

Definitely not me. I just want to go put on women's clothing and hang around in bars...

[–] t_berium@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

I love the instrumental version of My Hovercraft is Full of Eels

[–] glorkon@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Yeah. I have it on CD. They had it on vinyl, too, but I refused to buy the record because it was scratched.

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[–] chromeleon@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago

I fucking love Spinal Tap!

[–] DylanMc6@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

that's easy: the mu-pang clan with cza, eza, ol' terry bastard, methodcleese and maekpon

[–] SlartyBartFast@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 days ago

This is Blackadder, right?

Monty Python used to be my favorite comedy group. Now it's the Cleveland Browns.

[–] its_kim_love@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

"I wish I'd been a girly, just like me dear Mama!"

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[–] Rakonat@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

Sit on my faaaace, and tell me that you love me!

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