this post was submitted on 05 Dec 2025
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LinkedinLunatics

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A place to post ridiculous posts from linkedIn.com

(Full transparency.. a mod for this sub happens to work there.. but that doesn't influence his moderation or laughter at a lot of posts.)

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[–] arsCynic@piefed.social 103 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Oh come on, this has to be satire.

If tech bros really have become this robotic, then, as Robin William's Good Morning Vietnam script read:

“You are in more dire need of a blowjob than any white man in history.”

[–] kautau@lemmy.world 59 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Lol yes, another post of his from 2 years ago

[–] arsCynic@piefed.social 18 points 22 hours ago

Thank goodness.

[–] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 89 points 1 day ago (2 children)

with the same razor

"we're blood brothers here. We share bloodborn diseases between each other this way. Hepatitis A is for Alphas." /s

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

we share herpes with each other, is what he saying.

[–] alaphic@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Well, at least they figured out a solution to the whole "crabs" problem they had going on, clearly

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 4 points 1 day ago

it will be interesting how he got crabs on his head.

[–] gustofwind@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Help a tight ass

It's clearly satire, folks...

[–] QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 37 points 1 day ago (3 children)

...Wait, does he think Occam's Razor is an actual razor?

[–] HereIAm@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago

That's the line that cements this as satire to me, because by applying Occam's razor here I think the simplest solution is that it's a joke.

[–] sdfric88@lemmy.sdf.org 16 points 1 day ago

Yeah dude weren't you paying attention? This is their shared razor. They call it Occam's razor because Bill Occam bought it at the pharmacy on his way to the office last Tuesday.

[–] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Weirdly I always see Occam going into the bathroom with a full head of hair, and leave with just as much...

[–] Arigion@feddit.org 15 points 1 day ago

What a looser! If they would shave each others head during a meeting this would be much more productive. But the big question is: who hired all the hairy people in the first place?

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 44 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

if you think this is crazy, you've never heard of Occam's Razor

I know what Occam's Razor is, but considering the context here does this dude think it's just a good brand for head shaving? 🤨

[–] yakko@feddit.uk 27 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I want to believe he's being funny, but it's so hard

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 33 points 1 day ago (1 children)

100% satire, and it’s pretty funny

[–] N0t_5ure@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

He totally got me!

[–] gustofwind@lemmy.world 31 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Please be satire please be satire please be satire

[–] Eyekaytee@aussie.zone 7 points 1 day ago

🤣

I hate to think how much time this guy is losing by sleeping every night, there's at least a couple hours in employee leverage he's losing

[–] kiterios@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

As of 1 month ago, his employees are not shaved... so unless he's had a complete mental breakdown since then, probably satire.

https://www.linkedin.com/posts/alexander-cohen_this-photo-is-from-our-team-on-site-last-activity-7401997503660830721-51_e

[–] SamuraiBeandog@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

There's no way this is real, right?

No WAY.

Right?

[–] tired_n_bored@lemmy.world 21 points 1 day ago

This is clearly satire... I hope...

Satire or not, math isn't their strong game...

[–] stray@pawb.social 11 points 1 day ago

So does he just not shower anymore because he's bald?

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

And this is how we all got AIDS.

[–] MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Why are these guys wearing clothes? It gets in the way of bodly functions. Have to spend 2 seconds to unzip your pants? Time wasted.

Everyone nude in the office from now on...

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

And you can blow each other without interrupting work.

[–] grue@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

Haha, what a stupid loser, wasting time shaving his head when he could just be letting his hair grow long and not wash it.

[–] pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 day ago

Hey, look on the bright siade, at least this guy is still showering

[–] RubberElectrons@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Get fucked, you little piece of tech demo shit

[–] rayquetzalcoatl@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

We're just ignoring the concept of "joking" now yeah?

[–] testfactor@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

Yeah, this one clearly reads as satire. The fact that people think it's not is wild to me.

[–] root@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

I wonder if he min/maxes in the bedroom too

[–] Archangel1313@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 day ago

As opposed.to shaving your head at home, which means not wasting time doing it at the office? This has to be satire.

[–] very_well_lost@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Guarantee this guy isn't shaving his head for "efficiency", he's just severely balding and wants to pretend that he's not.

I don't want to make it

he got nice cat ear

[–] fckreddit@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 day ago

What the hell is wrong with these so-called founders? Shave your pubic hair at home, the world is not going to collapse if you have some free time for yourself.

[–] cubism_pitta@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

In the kitchen sink too 🤮