this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Aeri@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago

Black and blue. I could stand to be less stupid and also thorium is very useful to power generation I could probably sell it.

[–] joyjoy@lemmy.zip 3 points 23 hours ago

Too complex. I somehow mixed 2 of them and lemm.ee died

[–] Geodad@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Absolutely green. So many people would turn to shit that the remaining minority would ask if this was the rapture.

[–] MiDaBa@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 day ago

We'd call it getting green pilled

[–] Jean_le_Flambeur@discuss.tchncs.de 15 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

I take green and Start with all weapons on earth. Imagine the redneck waking up with poop under their pillow, poop on their walls and whole cabinets filled with poop. Fkin hilarious

[–] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago

All the new recruits in the army, literally polishing a turd, because theyre scared of the sergeant and dont know if this is a hazing thing or what

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[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 26 points 1 day ago (6 children)

I think I would take turn anything into poo. Trump, Netanyahu, Putin and every billionaire would be instantly poo

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 3 points 22 hours ago

Start with just the roof of their mouths.

[–] Rolive@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 1 day ago

Nothing changes.

[–] steve@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

They're already pretty shitty

[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

So it’s a fitting end

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Can you add Kid Rock to your turn to poo list please?

For more petty cases, turn people's stuff or food into poo.

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Then the Copromancer saved the world and never went on a vindictive pooing spree driven mad by his own unstoppable power, The End

[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Well I mean to be fair there’s a few vindictive pooing spree people in my own life. I was driven mad years by this dystopia ago so not to worry that ship has sailed

[–] InnerScientist@lemmy.world 2 points 23 hours ago

I'll take two unretard.

[–] CoffeeJunkie@lemmy.cafe 64 points 2 days ago (17 children)

Green pill would be the best power, hands down, no contest. It would be a very, well, green superpower.

Demolition jobs all around the country, regular houses cost $4-8 per square foot. Underbid & you get every job. Old warehouses? Poo. Toxic landfills? Poo. Asbestos? Poo. Old tech waste that's processed for valuable metals first? Poo. Forever chemicals? Not anymore, poo. Radioactive nuclear waste that costs us $6B every year according to this? Get a government contract for $5B per year for 100+ years with unlimited paid travel/room/board for you & all your family, travel to all the storage sites & turn all the nuclear waste into poo. Travel the US. Travel the world! You're the Poo Man. Eliminating radioactive nuclear waste & creating fertilizer. Everyone would pay top dollar for your fantastic services. Getting old, sick of earth? Go to the moon, go to Mars, Mars can use lots & lots of nutrient rich poo to help terraform in the future.

There would be almost no limit to the amount of good you could do, with poo...yes, you can use it to rob banks. If you're fucking dumb. Or you could legally shake down & radically transform the entire world, make them pay you & your descendants like kings, and if they're smart they'll thank you for your services. Poo Man. All day, every day, you'd be the richest man on earth (or Mars) & arguably super super ethical, too. Win-win.

You show up at the capitol to turn Congress into poo.

It doesn't work, because they're already full of shit.

[–] Aqarius@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I wonder if transforming all the microplastics that are everywhere would improve or worsen everyone's health.

[–] Predalien@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago

Boom, miniscule amounts of poo in your bloodstream

[–] CoffeeJunkie@lemmy.cafe 1 points 1 day ago

Probably improve. Not immediately, and don't go shoveling it into your mouth, but enough of the poop would have to be treated via simple exposure or a sewage plant.

City people tend to not really understand poop, waste management....give poop enough time, and a little care, it's fertilizer. Where I live, some of the soils are very very black. Very rich & fertile. It's the best soil. But what created that rich soil?

It was poop. Poop, pee, rotting biological lifeforms. It was poop, it no longer is poop, I bought this book a year & a half ago that details how to safely turn your own poop into sterile soil. There are many different methods, web search it.

I enjoy the benefits of society & modern plumbing, septic...but if/when everything breaks down....I want a good outhouse. I don't want to be sitting around like an idiot wondering, "Where does my poo-poo go without 1.4 gallons of water per flush? 🤔"

[–] Nalivai@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

That depends on what exactly is the poo. If it's a poo of a living creature, it will be very not good, it's riddled with microorganisms, viruses, and bacteria that you really really don't want in your bloodstream. If it's an abstract idealistic version of poo than it might be better.

[–] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago (6 children)

Netanyahu? instant poo. Trump, Putin? Instant poo. Turn shitty humans to shit and cut the middle man.

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[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I was thinking blue, since you could sell the thorium. But no, you're making a solid case here...

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[–] Ravi@feddit.org 72 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Green pill = infinite money cheat. Turn all the plastic trash, nuclear waste etc. into bio mass

[–] MrMcGasion@lemmy.world 63 points 2 days ago (5 children)

You could go the evil route and become a hitman as well, or rather a shitman, turning your targets into poo.

[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world 19 points 2 days ago (6 children)

Just need to keep your talent a secret. Put on your mask, grab a shovel, turn all the walls between you and the bank vault to shit, take what you need and leave. Cops come, the bullets/guns/cuffs police left feet to poo. Wash the money figuratively once done cleaning it literally, then figure out your next step.

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Also gardeners and farmers would very much want poo. So first you get a deal where someone pays you to turn trash or such into poo, then when the poo dries up, sell it as fertillizer.

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[–] BigBenis@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Clarification for green. Does it require physical contact or is it like a Death Note situation? If it's the former, don't we already have that ability? What about non-bio-based materials? If you eat a rock and poop out a rock, does it also now qualify as poo?

[–] Derpenheim@lemmy.zip 22 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Im taking the black pill every time. I got a lot of retard to undo

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[–] python@lemmy.world 26 points 2 days ago

Black pill's gonna have some mysterious side effects with my other medication

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 28 points 2 days ago (5 children)

You literally already have the power of the green pill. Don't take that one.

[–] CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago

I have this power - I turned the entire Republican Party into shit and everything got WAY worse

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[–] Steamymoomilk@sh.itjust.works 24 points 2 days ago (3 children)

When we say lifetime supply of thorium. Does it mean the receivers lifetime Or the thorium's lifetime???

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[–] Mac@mander.xyz 14 points 2 days ago

Black pill. Please cure me of my ailments.

I would be un-fucking-stoppable as a normie.

[–] pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 2 days ago

Neurotypical pill pls

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (3 children)
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[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 12 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Turn anything into poo: turn plastic waste into manure/fertilizer. Millionaire pretty quick. Could also become a supervillian.

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