this post was submitted on 10 Sep 2025
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Programmer Humor

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[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 6 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Me, trying to learn flat assembler: "What is even an object?"

[–] expr@programming.dev 4 points 2 hours ago

Me, as a professional Haskeller: "What is even an object?"

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 6 points 5 hours ago

Haha! Reminds me when I arrived in a team whose API accepted JSON and all the booleans were "True" or "False" (meaningful case, obv.) That was fun.

[–] svcg@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 6 hours ago

This certainly Tcl'd my funny bone.

[–] BenLeMan@lemmy.world 15 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

God, that reminds me of the debate on XML that I had with a developer about fifteen years ago.

Both our companies were working for a client who needed to publish product catalogues in several languages twice a year.

They had implemented a sort of Content Management System which they used with a plugin to feed data into Quark Xpress files as well as their website, IIRC. Cross-media publishing, essentially, and they had their own little set of format instructions to make words appear in bold, different colors, etc.

Since my company was tasked with translating the text into various languages, I suggested they come up with a way to store their data as XML. The standard tools in the translation industry can be easily customized to work with that, and XML would be a good way to future-proof their software. After a lot of delaying, grumbling, and ho-hum, they agreed to implement this plan.

Lo and behold, when the first meeting on the new XML format came around they showed it to me for the first time and... everything was in CDATA sections. Entire paragraphs of text with proprietary formatting instructions. 😐

When I tried to explain, very politely, and very patiently, that this was not going to work, the lead dev started insulting me. I swear to God, I've never been this close to punching someone in the face at a business meeting. 🤬

Thankfully, the client understood the issue and we eventually got an XML-based data exchange going. It is probably still in use today.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 24 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

I am strongly strongly statically typed pilled and I will not apologize.

[–] expr@programming.dev 3 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

100%. Though I can't imagine the meme is actually saying that things being stringly typed is a good thing.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 1 points 19 minutes ago

I don't think it is, and I'm not saying they don't have their place, I'm just a bit of a hater of dynamic types, like in a fun way, I don't think they're the bane of existence or anything. I just really love static typing.

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

But what about the absraction and portability and the inheritence and bunch of other buzzwords?!

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 1 points 18 minutes ago

Every compile error I work through is a runtime error I don't have to troubleshoot by surprise. 🙏

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 6 points 13 hours ago

[Laughs in computed TypeScript strings]

[–] Cruel@programming.dev 62 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

I took great pains last week to convert a big python project to make it typed. (shoutout to MonkeyType)

It's so much nicer to develop now...

[–] jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 16 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Oh that's a neat library. Type annotations in python are really nice, and you don't have to add tooling like when you switch from JS to TS.

[–] Cruel@programming.dev 8 points 19 hours ago

Yeah, I stopped developing in JS for good ~1.5 years ago. After using TS, it seems crazy to go back.

[–] kubica@fedia.io 64 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Empty string used to be like my own version of null pointer.

[–] baines@lemmy.cafe 11 points 17 hours ago

easy there satan

[–] marcos@lemmy.world 46 points 23 hours ago

Oh, you worked at Oracle by any chance?

[–] DScratch@sh.itjust.works 29 points 1 day ago (10 children)

Dark times…

Like -1 for an Int nil value.

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[–] baines@lemmy.cafe 7 points 17 hours ago

where my Ada bros not committing war crimes at?

[–] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 45 points 1 day ago (15 children)
[–] joyjoy@lemmy.zip 30 points 20 hours ago

Me: Puts a boolean into sqlite

Me: Asks for that boolean

SQLite: "Here's that int you asked for"

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 4 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

They finally added strict tables which avoids most (all?) of those shenanigans.

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[–] asperan@programming.dev 22 points 23 hours ago (5 children)

It is also the bash approach, isn't it?!

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[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 2 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

There are two genders: string and null

[–] NateNate60@lemmy.world 6 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

There are eight genders: null, undefined, false, NaN, 0, "0", {}, and "".

[–] kewjo@lemmy.world 5 points 17 hours ago

at the end of the day everything's a []u8 if you want it to be

[–] magic_lobster_party@fedia.io 28 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] InternetPerson@lemmings.world 7 points 18 hours ago

We don't touch that unless we really know what we're doing.

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