this post was submitted on 12 Sep 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 47 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] lambdabeta@lemmy.ca 41 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

My favourite part has to be the fact that a box of poptarts contains 8 poptarts...

[–] DrDystopia@lemy.lol 10 points 4 days ago (6 children)

You sound like a knower of the poptart. Please explain to me what they taste like, I have never tried one.

[–] skisnow@lemmy.ca 15 points 3 days ago

Once every 2-3 years I forget what they're like, see a box on the shelves, and think hey they actually look quite fun.

Then I get it home and the contents look fuck all like the picture on the front, and also it tastes, not bad as such, but disappointing and definitely not worth the calories.

[–] arudesalad@piefed.ca 10 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] DrDystopia@lemy.lol 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

From what I've read, we've all eaten cancer in industry meat like pig and cow.

... Poptarts taste like steak?

[–] abcdqfr@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

No, like if cardboard got cancer and covered it in icing. Also the cancer is a sugary filling.

[–] phdepressed@sh.itjust.works 8 points 4 days ago

The filling is like a bad taxidermy. You know what it is but it's just not right. Icing is more of the same. The biscuit(?) part is cake flavored cardboard.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Cheap garbage preservative junk food.

It’s trying to be some kind of fruit filled pastry. Imagine the cheapest ingredients you could source, to mass produce as many as possible with the longest shelf life possible. I think they probably come frozen? I haven’t had one since I was a kid like 30 years ago, and that would have been at a friends house because my parents wouldn’t but that crap.

I do eat other frozen type junk food though. Like frozen burritos. So it’s not like it’s beneath me or anything.

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 7 points 4 days ago (2 children)

You're right about everything except the frozen part. They can just sit in a box in your cupboard because they're basically made of plastic.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 4 points 3 days ago

They are incredibly flammable. Basically just a slab of glucose fructose.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 4 points 4 days ago

Yeah I wasn’t sure on that part. That’s crazy that the filling is shelf stable and keeps.

[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

You have to buy frosted. You have to toast them. Otherwise they’re just cardboard: you can’t really tell them apart from the box

[–] ekZepp@lemmy.world 18 points 4 days ago (2 children)
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[–] SolarMyth@aussie.zone 14 points 4 days ago (1 children)

After last week's poodle-doping scandal and a Rottweiler disqualified for using non-standard toaster pastries, this good dog might just retrieve the gold in the Pup Tart Stacking category. Impressive showing at the very least.

[–] DJDarren@sopuli.xyz 7 points 3 days ago

🎶Poptarts on a borzoi You know, you know This is serious 🎶

[–] krunklom@lemmy.zip 7 points 4 days ago

Someone get this person a Nobel prize.

[–] socsa@piefed.social 3 points 3 days ago

Great now it has captured my soul

[–] phdepressed@sh.itjust.works 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Why you putting poptarts on pizza?

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[–] DrDystopia@lemy.lol 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Have you tried putting stacks of pop tarts down along the beak? I'm sure you could do 4x10 on that aircraft carrier.

[–] don@lemmy.ca 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

“beak” lol you mean “muzzle”?

[–] DrDystopia@lemy.lol 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

no i mean "Hangarenshiffeschnozzle".

[–] prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 days ago

Derlöngënsniffer

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 6 points 4 days ago

Does he get to eat the poptarts afterwards?

[–] Assassassin@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

How many pop tarts long is snoot?

[–] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)

The factory hasn't produced enough to finish the measurement yet.

[–] Assassassin@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago

That tracks, I don't think anyone can count high enough anyway

You're doing good work

[–] TheTetrapod@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago

"'Do you have games on your phone?"

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I want a picture of this dog from a different angle.

[–] aceshigh@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago (4 children)

That’s one long nose. What’s the breed?

[–] Flocklesscrow@lemmy.zip 19 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Probably some kind of anteater

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I've heard tell of a long pig? Could this be it?

[–] Flocklesscrow@lemmy.zip 6 points 4 days ago

Definitely not. Long pig is usually found adrift at sea.

[–] brunchyvirus@fedia.io 4 points 4 days ago

Looks like a borzoi/Russian wolfhound

It's a Borzoi. Narrow dog with a white coat and a hose nose.

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)
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[–] TachyonTele@piefed.social 4 points 4 days ago

This is the intro to a horror movie. You can't fool me.

[–] zd9@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

l o n g b o y e

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