this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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top 45 comments
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[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 5 points 3 hours ago

for a second I thought I was on 196

[–] humanspiral@lemmy.ca 12 points 9 hours ago

the many outs on getting paid is a deal breaker.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 7 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (1 children)

Dude wants to be that one pirate from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride in Disney Land they used to have that just went in circles chasing a girl, and is then seen later running in a circle away from a fat woman with a rolling pin.

It's weird they changed those. Like... It was fair. He got chased back. And I mean... They're still blowing shit up, killing folks and stealing loot. How is chasing a lady around worse?

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 33 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Bro needs to get into competitive tag

[–] gray@lemmy.ml 9 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

I need to get into this. How did I not know this existed?

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 8 points 10 hours ago

Come closer, I'll tell you how to get started with it.

"Tag you're it"

Runs

[–] aesthelete@lemmy.world 5 points 10 hours ago

Read this in Nathan Fielder's voice.

[–] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 64 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

This is a red, yellow, and green checkered flag.

  • wants to chase down people
  • is whimsical
  • can't make up his mind
  • is controlling
  • cares about fitness
  • not a gym bro
[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 8 points 9 hours ago

I want you to do exactly what I want, but I don't want you to do it because I want, I want you to want to do it. What an easy going person

Yeah this person sounds annoying and like they might be a serial killer later and i want to hang out with them. Possibly even enough to run.

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 20 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Go play open-field paintball. Sounds like he’s into the hunt, so up the ante and be hunted too. Do the stalking while being stalked.

[–] baguettefish@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

that's not a power fantasy anymore

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 7 points 13 hours ago

You might be right.

[–] Okokimup@lemmy.world 104 points 19 hours ago

My dog posted this.

[–] ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.zip 41 points 17 hours ago

Honestly sounds fun but I'd want to vibe check with a coffee first lol

[–] Brett@feddit.org 30 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Would do it for free but i havent had a facebook account for over a decade now.

[–] TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world 16 points 19 hours ago (1 children)
[–] crank0271@lemmy.world 30 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Right, but one of the requirements is a Facebook post at the end.

[–] r00ty@kbin.life 12 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

It's probably from the era when everyone had a Facebook account. In the modern era, I am sure a Tik-tok (is that what all the kids are doing now?) video would suffice.

[–] Diddlydee@feddit.uk 7 points 17 hours ago

There was no era when everyone had a Facebook account.

[–] ChillPill@lemmy.world 22 points 18 hours ago (1 children)
[–] TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

I would sign up for this in a heartbeat. Much lower stakes than doing a crime right in front of a cop, and probably almost as much fun

[–] outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

You've clearly never done crime in front of a cop. It's very fun.

[–] TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 10 hours ago

Never intentionally 😅 but I have had the pleasure of running from them a few times!

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

This person is unwell. Not because of the desire to chase someone (I have thoughts on that, but…) the high five and shit. Getting sweaty but they won't pay if they can't catch you but you also can't go easy on them if they're a slow fuck who can't catch you otherwise or you won't get paid. If I knew someone who posted this, I would disassociate from them.

[–] Surp@lemmy.world 1 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Wow talk about a woosh of humor flying over your head lol

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 6 hours ago

Perhaps. I like dry, absurdist humor. This doesn't read like that to me at all.

[–] _druid@sh.itjust.works 17 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

I was talking to a guy who wanted to stalk me through a mall until he caught me. He seemed confused when I wasn't interested.

[–] kautau@lemmy.world 7 points 16 hours ago

Because of the implication

[–] programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Now consider this, you both have different shops in the mall you have to take a photo in, you start from different ends of the mall, the one who finds the other or takes the photos first wins. It could be like stalking but more of a game.

[–] _druid@sh.itjust.works 12 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

That could be a cute game! But he wanted me to try and escape the mall. The price of failure was him ushering me to a dressing room to do things only he was interested in doing.

[–] programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Pretty creepy, maybe not the best plan

[–] _druid@sh.itjust.works 7 points 15 hours ago

I agree, and I let him know that haha

[–] Diddlydee@feddit.uk 4 points 17 hours ago

Relentless chasing, like those robot dogs from Black Mirror.

[–] iii@mander.xyz 9 points 20 hours ago (1 children)
[–] ook@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 20 hours ago

You'd be so lucky

[–] apfelwoiSchoppen@lemmy.world 4 points 19 hours ago (1 children)
[–] tiramichu@sh.itjust.works 1 points 10 hours ago

Yeah sure if my dog is a serial killer

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 3 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

This person just needs better parents

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 9 points 16 hours ago (1 children)
[–] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 3 points 15 hours ago

well, they didn't get paid, so it's their loss