this post was submitted on 18 Aug 2025
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[–] GeriatricGambino@lemmy.world 272 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago) (17 children)

When I was fairly younger, I was in a relationship with a woman who told me that if she were to learn that I had sex with a man, especially bottoming but also topping (she didn't use those terms, she used bad terms), then she would feel disgusted and betrayed and would never feel attracted to me again or see me as a man again.

I said to her that I was disappointed in her, that she had internalised homophobia and that she was a massive hypocrite. Her self proclaimed best male friend presented to the world as flamingly gay, and she was openly bi herself, not as in "I would totally fuck women cause I like the idea of it", bus as in she had fucked women before and would do it again. Apparently she deserves to be fucked by a real man, which apparently bi men are not.

So...yeah, you can be a loudly proclaimed ally AND a member of the LGBTQ community yourself, and still be a disgusting homophobe right alongside the best of bigots.

[–] hushable@lemmy.world 112 points 10 hours ago (9 children)

I have a similar story to share.

When I was in my early 20s I briefly dated a girl who told me she was having feelings for another woman and was being curious, she eventually broke up with me in order to be with her, but we remained good friends after that.

Eventually she came out as a lesbian and when I told her that I was bi she immediately ended our friendship all even yelled some slurs at me.

AFAIK she's married with a guy and has kids now

[–] vivalapivo@lemmy.today 4 points 9 hours ago (5 children)

Eventually she came out as a lesbian and when I told her that I was bi she immediately ended our friendship

Can't really imagine it. Even stubborn homophobes do not end friendship over someone coming out. A lot of them just become curious and eventually accepting. Am not LGBTQ+ though, so my judgement is kinda not reliable, but still.

The woman you're talking about is exceptionally weird and she can go fuck herself

[–] Red_October@piefed.world 21 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

It's adorable that you think "stubborn homophobes" wouldn't end a friendship over someone coming out. I genuinely wish they did just become curious and eventually accepting, instead of immediately rejecting and intimidating and expressing feelings of disgust and revulsion.

[–] vivalapivo@lemmy.today 7 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

In my 20s I was this homophobe until a friend came up to me. Maybe it's my projection, idk

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 4 points 3 hours ago

Yeah no i think you just valued that friendship, or your homophobia wasn't as deep as many's.

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