Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

Anon is often crazy.
Anon is often depressed.
Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works

338

Anon's solution for first date nerves (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 1 week ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works

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[–] Psionicsickness@reddthat.com 18 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

So you look at yakko talking. What a joke. Does anyone actually think he knows what he’s talking about? Tactility? Really? Weak language. My keyboard is has ten times more lights than his, and when I press a button it knows I mean it. Tactility isn’t a factor. It’s rough, gruff, able to take the pressure of a real man’s hands.

Oh, and did you notice how he said loudest? I did. All these vocal minorities, with their purple hair and face tattoos. They don’t care about America, they don’t care about our traditions or our values. All they want is a handout.

I feel really dirty….

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 6 days ago (1 children)

... Did you just... counter a Trump-pression with a Bill Burr-pression?

[–] Psionicsickness@reddthat.com 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

It was an attempt at a Trump one. I’m not upset that I’m bad at it.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 6 days ago

Fair enough, lol!

[–] yakko@feddit.uk 8 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Let's never do this again ^^

[–] LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago

Listen. This is the biggest. The BIGGEST keyboard. They said it could not be bigger. They said, Mr LH0ezVT, this keyboard cannot be bigger. The FAKE news and the lunatic left said it cannot be bigger. THEY LIED! Look at this keyboard. It is the BIGGEST keyboard in America. Maybe even the BIGGEST in the world. People from all over the world come to me. They say this is the BIGGEST keyboard.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Actually, there's another way to mimic him that also accomplishes this goal (works great when a date is going badly, too).

When you decide you're done with someone, just loudly and obviously shit in your pants.