This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
I mean, this... isn't surprising at all?
Blustering around confidently exploits how ... duller human brains interpret factuality.
Moneky brain see confidence?
Monkey brain know they must be correct!
This is the basis of ... well, con artists, you know, confidence artists, a whole lot of PUA type shit, uh, a whole lot of politics, a whole lot of marketing..., many debate and negotiation tactics/styles...
Being a bullshitter is a common thing because bullshitting is broadly very effective.
OP just learned what the 'con' in 'con man' is short for.
Are you shitting me right now?
I'd be funny if he were, but no. "Con man" really is short for "confidence man."
It's not actually about the scammer 'being confident,' though; it's about the scammer winning the mark's trust.
Or you could say it's about winning their mark's removes sunglasses confidence.
One day someone will have this same reaction to the word "rizz"
I had this reaction while playing Baldurs Gate. I knew what it meant to "rizz" someone but didn't know where it came from. I had a high DC charisma check and, after passing it, said, "I rizzed em with my charisma! Ohh..."
Funnier in french
Confidence is a huge deal and very important. Now just talk like a confident you, not like Donald Trump.
My keyboard is the biggest, loudest, most beautiful - and not just loud, everyone says it has excellent tactility - have you seen the lights? Better than the aurora borealis. The aurora borealis saw my keyboard and said so themselves. I built it myself. It was easy. You go to a website that sells the parts. Great websites, some of the happiest places on the internet.
Nah, still hate it
So you look at yakko talking. What a joke. Does anyone actually think he knows what he’s talking about? Tactility? Really? Weak language. My keyboard is has ten times more lights than his, and when I press a button it knows I mean it. Tactility isn’t a factor. It’s rough, gruff, able to take the pressure of a real man’s hands.
Oh, and did you notice how he said loudest? I did. All these vocal minorities, with their purple hair and face tattoos. They don’t care about America, they don’t care about our traditions or our values. All they want is a handout.
I feel really dirty….
... Did you just... counter a Trump-pression with a Bill Burr-pression?
It was an attempt at a Trump one. I’m not upset that I’m bad at it.
Fair enough, lol!
Let's never do this again ^^
Actually, there's another way to mimic him that also accomplishes this goal (works great when a date is going badly, too).
When you decide you're done with someone, just loudly and obviously shit in your pants.
Listen. This is the biggest. The BIGGEST keyboard. They said it could not be bigger. They said, Mr LH0ezVT, this keyboard cannot be bigger. The FAKE news and the lunatic left said it cannot be bigger. THEY LIED! Look at this keyboard. It is the BIGGEST keyboard in America. Maybe even the BIGGEST in the world. People from all over the world come to me. They say this is the BIGGEST keyboard.
Same, but because it’s still too much Trump.
My keyboard is great, I love it. it’s loud, but also a joy to type on. I built it my self, which makes me live it even more - it’s not so difficult. Look at the lights! Here try typing on it, isn‘t the tactility great?
Yeah you're right... The magic trick is liking yourself. I'll get there, but knowing the trick does make it less magical.
I hate that this might be true
Many people are saying it. The best people.
I've been on the most tinder dates and I can confirm with my greatest confidence that this beautiful method works tippytoppy
Fake: anon gets frequent tinder dates? Doubt.
Gay: while on said dates he’s thinking about another man.
Also it’s like the worst man to think of for both for the object of attraction and for the confidence trick.
Talking like Cave Johnson would be a much better option all around. Then you’re not drooling over or mimicking a pedophile AND you can make vaguely ominous jokes about science, so it’s clearly the better choice
Added bonus, you might win over a Caroline.
I wouldn't be able to resist the temptation of mimicking his voice. Is it part of the act?
You have to make the accompanying hand gestures, which I can only describe as kinetically emphasized whining.
The more he wants to whine about something he detests, the more he uses his little hands to make little motions, like they're an exclamation point for how annoyed he is.
This is opposed to say, emphasis for dramatic effect, to convey conviction, seriousness, passion, anger, or something like that.
That's the part he did not manage to learn from his nightstand collection of Hitler's speeches.
I've been doing it my whole life. I chose not to use this power for evil, unlike some others I could mention. Because it's a choice not to be a giant douche canoe just because you can.
CNN just there in the side fact checking anon.
Can confirm this strat works, won an election using it
upmost
upperly rediculuss.
It sure worked for him