this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] chaoticnumber@lemmy.dbzer0.com 43 points 5 days ago (7 children)
[–] lvxferre@mander.xyz 47 points 5 days ago (7 children)

What he says boils down to "I was eavesdropping your conversation, and I assume you're desperate. You might as well lower your standards — date someone random you have no connections with, like me." It's bad; not bad enough to deserve that rude reply, but still bad.

A better approach would be to try to pick up a woman who's alone, offer her a drink*, chitchat a bit, and then ask her for a date. With no references to what she said to other people. Creating some connection between him and her, before he asks her out.

*always ask the bar workers to bring it. Don't bring it yourself.

[–] KoboldCoterie@pawb.social 40 points 5 days ago (6 children)

A better approach would be to try to pick up a woman who’s alone, offer her a drink*,

A bit of a tangent, but I really hate this. Not meaning to call you out, this is a really common recommendation for an icebreaker and it's also reinforced by popular media and the like, but it always feels to me like the implication is that if a man wants to approach a woman, they must buy something for them as part of that process. Like it's a transaction fee to be given a chance.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 13 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (14 children)

i date actively.

most women expect you to pay your way into their company. in my city they had a poll, 80% of women expected a man to pay for a nice (expensive) first date otherwise he wasn't worth dating. only 20% of women disagreed with this.

They also polled the men. The male split was 60/40. The hosts on the show where they did the poll had their mind blown how rabidly sexist the women were and immediately went on about how stupid it was and how men and women should each pay their own way until a relationship is established.

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 4 days ago

Can I get a link to this study, by chance?

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[–] frog_brawler@lemmy.world 11 points 5 days ago

I agree, but the location was a bar. Kinda normal at a bar.

[–] Ibuthyr@feddit.org 4 points 5 days ago

Yeah, I think the way it was handled in the greentext was way more natural and sincere. No idea why it's considered creepy. Buying some random woman a drink is just cringy.

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[–] Fizz@lemmy.nz 43 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (2 children)

Nah its not creepy. Its perfectly fine to ask her out like that she just didnt want it and rejected him in a bit of an over the top way. Whole thing is no issue. If you are gonna randomly strike up conversations you will get cooked sometimes.

[–] treesapx@lemmy.world 15 points 5 days ago (3 children)

"I've been listening to your conversation" is not a good way to start. There are some exceptions, but even then you're starting on thin ice and have to ease into it.

[–] Rekorse@sh.itjust.works 23 points 5 days ago (2 children)

You shouldnt have to rehearse the perfect line that is impossible to be offended by just to talk to a stranger. We aren't robots. We dont always hit 100% of the time. We stumble and overextend. Expectations have gotten out of hand.

[–] RumorsOfLove@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Tai Chi is all about not overextending.

[–] Rekorse@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] RumorsOfLove@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 3 days ago

Like there is a practice to maintaining self-control and it works on all levels of the metaphor. Emotional, comfort level, social, whatever. Like I totally agree with you that total perfection is not the goal. But usually its good to demonstrate some composure.

[–] arctanthrope@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)

you are allowed to stumble on the first line. and it may come off poorly. and if it does the other person is perfectly valid for not wanting to engage further. therefore if you want the other person to continue to engage, you should try not to come off poorly. this isn't some newfangled social phenomenon, it's how basic human interaction has worked for millennia

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[–] snooggums@piefed.world 16 points 5 days ago

"I couldn't help but hear your drunken rantings."

[–] frog_brawler@lemmy.world 12 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

I couldn’t help but overhear you and your loud as fuck, half-drunk friends….

[–] lvxferre@mander.xyz 16 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Asking her out would be fine; the problem, as I already explained, is how. However I do agree with you that her answer was over the top, a simple "No." would be the best.

Whole thing is no issue.

It was clearly an issue to the Anon, check the last paragraph.

If you are gonna randomly strike up conversations you will get cooked sometimes.

He wasn't just striking up a conversation.


Additionally (and that's neither side's fault), mob mentality is a plague. She was in a group of four people; people typically behave worse in groups than alone.

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 21 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Can't think of a time where I've ever seen a woman at a bar alone.

[–] lvxferre@mander.xyz 7 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

I've seen it plenty, plenty times. Because I was looking for it. That was my "plan A" strategy when I still bothered dating; it works great as long as you know to be assertive without being pushy. (Some people want to be left alone, some only want to chitchat, both things are fine and you should respect that.)

My "plan B" was relying on connections, but that relies on luck. For example:

  • you go to the bar with A
  • A is acquainted with B, who's drinking with C
  • You say "hey, what if we all drink together?"

Then you have some room to at least know B and/or C better. And potentially ask one of them out.

Odds are my "plan B" is not viable for Anon, though - does he even have friends to go to the bar with?

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 3 points 4 days ago

Must be different bars. I see groups of women out but can't recall any individuals. Plan b has pretty much been my entire strategy my whole life. Just being in places with women and being nice, funny, and non-threatening got me in with a bunch of different groups. Not always a date but they would vouch for me.

[–] frog_brawler@lemmy.world 16 points 5 days ago (1 children)

It’s not eavesdropping. They were having a public conversation at a fucking bar - a place where plenty of people go in attempts to meet new people... If it was a private convo (one that can be eavesdropped on) that’s different. If it was a private conversation, they shouldn’t have been at a location where it’s normal to try flirting with strangers.

[–] lvxferre@mander.xyz 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Paying too much attention on the others' conversations, even in a public environment, is creepy.

[–] frog_brawler@lemmy.world 10 points 5 days ago (2 children)

If someone is sitting by themselves at a bar, it should be assumed they’re listening to everything around them unless they’re wearing earbuds. Have some general awareness of reality.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 11 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

people are also loud as fuck. almost anytime i am at a bar i'm forced to listen to people's convos because they are SCREAMING at each other. very few people are talking quietly to each other such that you can't hear them, and if they are doing that, you're not going to hear them.

of course the obnoxious loud people are the very same type who are going to tell you how creepy it is you are listening to them. the only way you can't listen to them is if you had noise cancelling headphones in.

[–] ozymandias@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 4 days ago

you forgot the part where he sat there for 3 hours alone, nervous and sweating, and periodically staring at the women… then he interrupted a group talking to ask on of them on a date, skipping the part where you introduce yourself and other standard interaction where you gauge someone’s interest before asking….
op was probably also extremely obese, had a neckbeard, a fedora, and hasn’t showered in a month….
then he just stood next to them silently shaking, until they paid attention… then he said his line… mumbling, while staring intently at the girl’s breasts….
i made up a lot but the point is there’s a lot more to it than this fictional story lets on…

[–] Saapas@piefed.zip 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] lvxferre@mander.xyz 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Not really assumptions, but how it sounds like, in the context of a social setting. Or, if you want: that's how people "read" it.

[–] Saapas@piefed.zip 1 points 4 days ago

I feel like reading into it would be a better way to put it. Though not sure how different that is from assuming things

[–] uncouple9831@lemmy.zip 2 points 5 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

As opposed to all of the [dating people you have connections with] that happens all the time these days?

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[–] obsoleteacct@lemmy.zip 21 points 4 days ago (1 children)

He's not a creep, but he has the emotional intelligence of an insurance investigator.

"Hi, you sound needy and vulnerable" is a rough starting point for a pickup line. He clearly didn't mean it as an insult, but it's not hard to imagine a woman in that situation being embarrassed, feeling exposed, and being insulted by the implication that this guy might be trying to capitalize on her moment of vulnerability.

Hurt-people hurt people.

[–] pewgar_seemsimandroid@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

why do you want me to hurt people though? which people do i hurt?

[–] obsoleteacct@lemmy.zip 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Dear Hurt-people,

I want to clarify; that was a statement about human nature. It was not, and should not be interpreted as, advice or a call to action.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

dark humor, dark humor.

[–] Robust_Mirror@aussie.zone 29 points 5 days ago (1 children)

You don't go up to someone and say hey I was listening to you complain about wanting a guy, how about me? and expect a good response.

[–] PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uk 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

"hey, I was just reading you complain about someone, fancy going out on a lemmydate* sometime??"

*I don't actually want to think what a Lemmy date would entail

[–] Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.works 21 points 5 days ago (1 children)

A nice chat about the merits of Arch Linux and a long kneesock showcase.

[–] PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uk 12 points 5 days ago

sorry m8 u aren't the one for me 😭

I'm a Lubuntu normie soz

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