this post was submitted on 31 Aug 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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He took it literally (files.catbox.moe)
submitted 3 days ago by cm0002@lemmy.world to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
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[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 30 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

People try and talk their way out of it and dig a deeper hole. For example, what I imagined happening with that Briton arrested for carrying a garden trowel:

"But that tool is sharp, right?"

"A bit"

"If someone attacked you, would you stab them with it?"

"Probably"

"You've just admitted to carrying an offensive weapon. Accept this caution or we'll escalate this further"

[–] lka1988@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

My first thought would be to just act stupid in that specific situation and straight up lie out of my ass:

"But that tool is sharp, right?"

"Nope"

"If someone attacked you, would you stab them with it?"

"Why are you trying to put words in my mouth?"

Of course, this also has a high likelihood of backfiring. So just stfu with cops.

[–] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 4 points 2 days ago

“If someone attacked you, would you stab them with it?”

I feel like my automatic response to that would be "that's a really weird question to ask"

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 6 points 2 days ago

This is why solicitors typically recommend you say "no comment"

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

I would start panicking as soon as they ask me to write down my name.