this post was submitted on 29 Aug 2025
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Programmer Humor

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[–] crozilla@lemmy.world 86 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Forgot “Microsoft Word”

[–] Z3k3@lemmy.world 37 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Forgot “Microsoft ~~Word~~ office”

[–] jeeva@lemmy.world 36 points 1 week ago

I'm sorry, do you mean Microsoft Copilot 365?

gags

[–] omgboom@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Microsoft Office Suite, it sounds classier

[–] KoboldCoterie@pawb.social 15 points 1 week ago

Spreadsheet Architect, Powerpoint Guru, Wordsmith

[–] Kache@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 week ago

Classier than listing every program individually?

[–] LambdaRX@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Eliminating orphans is an essential skill in IT.

[–] Gyroplast@pawb.social 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

More essential IT skills to add to your resume:

  • preserving the environment
  • killing zombies
  • managing real-time executions
  • manual flushing of pipes
  • handling mixed signals
[–] marcos@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

manual flushing of pipes

Seriously, pipes should default to unbuffered...

[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You mean Copilot. No one uses word manually anymore.

[–] Rcklsabndn@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 week ago

Copilot? Write me a terse reply to the highlighted comment.

[–] bridgeenjoyer@sh.itjust.works 41 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)

This is actually scary. They cant do anything without an internet connection.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

To be fair, programming without internet is just (very) unproductive.

[–] sepi@piefed.social 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] sleen@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 week ago

For you

I have looked up the productivity differences in working with and without internet for the programming industry. The main finding is that majority of programmers think that the internet boosts their productivity and collaboration.

Needles to say, it seems like your argument is focused on yourself rather than the whole industry.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Tell me you're not a programmer without telling me you're not a programmer.

[–] sepi@piefed.social 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I got almost 3 decades of writing software for money. I don't need stack chatgpt overflow. I know some standard libraries by heart.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Guess you just "know" all the new stuff coming out?

I programmed for a living before stack overflow, and it was just less effective.

[–] sepi@piefed.social 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You can download docs once and refer to them pretty much. You can also download dependencies once and read their source code to figure out questions you may have.

Like, sure, I need the internet to download new packages and tools and their documentation and stuff. I will concede this. But after that, I can live off the land.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Sure you can and we all had to live without nice things at a certain time, I had the Nintendo DS & Wii doc in physical text form (because NDA and so I guess), with only a handful of helpful people on the Nintendo forum. But that was invaluable, still remember that guy from Team17 helping me out because the audio was bugged in the console.

I mean we can all motor through it and spend lots of time figuring it out, I actually like that 😁, but having access to the whole worlds shared knowledge is kind of nice too.

[–] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I have a mild existential crisis every time the Internet goes down. I have no idea what's wrong, and I cant use the Internet to find out what's wrong.

[–] bridgeenjoyer@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 week ago

You should work to become sufficient offline. I have my whole life because I know how fragile it is.

[–] Fizz@lemmy.nz 12 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Not really. If the internet goes out in our office 100% of our programmers are going home. Doesnt make them bad, the internet is to useful to work without.

[–] isVeryLoud@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 week ago

Yeah I'm kinda helpless if I can't get maven packages or check packages against the CVE database.

[–] sleen@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 week ago

Exactly, it's how technological evolution works. We found a much more effective and productive way to work and live, so why would we revert back to the "old days".

Also doesn't mean people taught to use the internet in its full capacity are inferior - they're just focusing on what is important.

[–] kSPvhmTOlwvMd7Y7E@programming.dev 12 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

the documentation is literally on Internet. Python standard library, MSDN, posgresql, odbc drivers. Everything is online. are you suggesting you memorised your whole stack, and did you printed out ? Granted * some * of it can be downloaded

[–] urandom@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

I remember when ‚man 3 printf‘ and such was a thing. Good times, those. Then there’s ‚go doc encoding/json‘ as well. I’m sure other languages have some offline docs

[–] Quetzalcutlass@lemmy.world 36 points 1 week ago (1 children)

ChatGPT Cybersecurity

So you know how to fix all the security holes the AI left in your codebase, right? Right?

[–] QuestionMark@lemmy.ml 29 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

No worries, GPT says my* code is flawless.

[–] Codpiece@feddit.uk 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Did someone crop off DevOps?

[–] QuestionMark@lemmy.ml 15 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] drspawndisaster@sh.itjust.works 20 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Generative AI AND chatGPT. Impressive.

But I know how to code, program, AND write software.

[–] Codpiece@feddit.uk 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

But don’t have a development podcast?

Damn, you're right! I need to let people know that in addition to my other skills, I can also develop applications.

Chatgpt how do I pod my cast

[–] GreenShimada@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

So this whole list is actually

ChatGPT

How to ask ChatGPT how to:

Coding

Computer Science ....

[–] handsoffmydata@lemmy.zip 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

He forgot to list his Minecraft server

[–] Rcklsabndn@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago

Hey, maintaining that server is a 24/7 job after the last update. There are dozens of people depending on me.

[–] hark@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

Generative AI degenerating skills.

[–] paulbg@programming.dev 6 points 1 week ago

majoring in chatgpt💀

[–] int32@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 week ago

wait, just ChatGPT? not llama, gemma, or even gemini or copilot?