this post was submitted on 01 Sep 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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all 36 comments
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[–] rizzothesmall@sh.itjust.works 36 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

No, but I can tell you that ejaculating on the doctor is not the answer.

Offers of reciprocation also don't earn you extra credit. Which is bullshit.

[–] malware@lemmy.zip 8 points 2 days ago

Omfg that is exactly what I wanted to comment πŸ˜…

[–] ddplf@szmer.info 4 points 2 days ago

Can you elaborate? I don't see why these wouldn't work

[–] random_character_a@lemmy.world 29 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)
  • Bend over
  • Relax
  • Don't say "Ahh" or "Uhh". If you must vocalize, "hnngth" is acceptable.
[–] answersplease77@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

what about "Hummmmmph" followed by "Heeheee" ?

Only if you ejaculate between.

[–] Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

"Great shot kid, that was one in a million!"

If you feel a hand on each shoulder you have a great doctor there.

[–] AeonFelis@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 8 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Once your finger is inside, make the following motions:

β¬†οΈβ¬†οΈβ¬‡οΈβ¬‡οΈβ¬…οΈβž‘οΈβ¬…οΈβž‘οΈπŸ…±οΈπŸ…°οΈ START

[–] T00l_shed@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Once your finger is inside

fist

[–] Nikls94@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

When the doctor says "how did it feel" just say "a little weird the first inch but it became arousing real quick"

[–] rockerface@lemmy.cafe 16 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

The correct answer is two fingers. Hope this helps.

Best one to start the day ,thanks

[–] Kazumara@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 2 days ago

Hopefully it's "negative"

[–] Cryan24@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago

Push back on the doctors fingers and send flowers after..

Practice to clench so hard that the doctor's finger gets stuck. They never expect that.

[–] huquad@lemmy.ml 6 points 2 days ago

Doctor, I don't feel a ring on that finger

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 9 points 2 days ago

Practice, practice, practice.

[–] cmgvd3lw@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Zwiebel@feddit.org 4 points 2 days ago

Did they plug the leak?

[–] Redjard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 day ago
[–] justme@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 2 days ago

Chili is the only preparation you need.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

"YEEEEESSSSS!!!!"

[–] cley_faye@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

The best way to go is a some "a", a few "o", a long string of "m", and write "oh yeah" in the last question.

[–] mechoman444@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Yes. πŸ‘‰πŸ‘Œ

[–] handsoffmydata@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 day ago

In, out, in, out, select, start

[–] salty_chief@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Get a tattoo before exam on your butt that has doctors name saying β€œName of Doctor wuz here”. They give you extra credit.

[–] dumbass@leminal.space 2 points 2 days ago
[–] Apocalypteroid@lemmy.org 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

No matter how hard you study you will always get a C.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 2 points 2 days ago

a dildo? or an actual thing?

[–] socsa@piefed.social 1 points 2 days ago

Deeper daddy!