Oyster: Filters all the gross gunk from the ocean
Humans: I'm going to eat this oyster without cooking it, yes it is gross that's why there's hot sauce.
this post was submitted on 20 Nov 2025
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I also eat ass.
At the end of the day, both are full of microplastics.
Yep, and in the morning as well.
🤮
Same taste as oysters.
Again - hot sauce is available
oyster
hot sauce
stares at you motherfuckerly
Fuck the hot sauce, all you need is some cocktail sauce (with horseradish, not that tame ketchup shit) and it's good to go
Doesn't it usually go with vodka?
Vodka and oysters?
Boogers seasoned with hospital smell? That's how I imagine it being, at least.
Edit gibe me dark rum and beef tartar instead
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This is a scam, ordered some and they don't tell you that it only works with salt water but I have dirty fresh water! Now stuck buying salt every day.
I got the same issue, but I solved it by building a desalination system at home. After the water is cleansed by the oyster, the water gets extracted leaving the salt behind which can be added to a new batch of fresh water. Saves me a few salt trips to the store.
The elctricity bill is a tad bit higher, but I plan to add wave generators to the oyster aquarium so I can extract power from there just by lowering and raising an inflated ball through the water line. Should also help disturbing any deposits in the tank
do the wave generators not need more electricity than the ball peoduces?
Im thinking of powering the wave generators with wood gas power, since Im already heating my house with wood fire I just need to starve the furnace of oxygen to make the gas appear. Mimor inconvenience with the added carbon monoxide and tar, but Im sure ill work it out
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Is there a order limit? Because for undisclosed reasons I'm going to need a lot
I see you, circa 2010 BP!
Did the front fall off?
If I swallow a live oyster, can I drink dirty water safely?
Technically if you swallow s live oyster you don't even need a kidney anymore
Are you expecting oysters to be poisonous?
I think they’re making the joke that you could outsource body filtration to the oyster.
I’m assuming you’d at least fuck your throat though, because it’s not staying alive without the shell
The stomach acid would probably kill the oyster as soon as it has opened the shell.
Yes. You probably shouldn’t actually try to outsource your kidney function to oysters
So now you tell me!
This is very disappointing
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Iirc, this is kinda how mitochondria might have become a thing. A living thing eating another living thing, and it become an organ
It is!
Do you have some special internal path for the oysters own waste product that doesn't interact or otherwise affect your other internal organs?
Where does the oyster poo go in the ocean?
Hopefully not inside the human body.
Turns out eating oysters straight off the rocks is not recommended. Like super duper not recommended.
I found this out after I managed to open one on the rocks and ate it :)
It'd be something if instead of flushing the toilet, an oyster could filter all that
Is that what the three seashells are?
Oh my god, after 30 years, this is it.
Three genetically enhanced oysters in their shells…
sounds like a scam! i bet if the water is too dirty the oyster is going to close and shut off the city's water supply
(it was clams but i cannot tell the difference between the two so)
Just pay separate shipping and handling!
There's always a catch 🎣.
ADD SEQUENCE
why do I want an oyster now?
because this is what's called effective marketing. Showing a product, showcasing it's results and giving you a way to buy said product
I only have 226 L of water, can I borrow 1 pls?
Im sure if everyone spits into your tub one time we can get there
Ty god bless
1-800 OYSTER is one digit short of a working number, dashing my dreams. 1-800 OYSTERS offered me a free medical alert device, but it is unknown at this time how many liters of water per day it can filter.
They can be poisoned just the same as any other sea-creature, right? If the water is full of certain elements it will kill the oysters too, right?
I tried dialing 800-OYSTER, but since it's only 6 digits, no call was initiated. Guess I'm stuck with these 227 liters of water...
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