"I'm looking for advice on how to be an artist"
"I can help you, I'm from a family of artists, but I suck at art, more of a scientist personally"
"..."
this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2025
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Just being supportive like we all are going through this together right? Also those transfems lived as a man at one point in their lives, probly heard a lot of lessons about "being a man", may even have had a father that imparted the basic man skills. Just like transfems will listen to advice from women or transmasc, its all valid and helpful. For a group so prone to self deletes and just general loneliness and depression, extreme anxiety, and not being able to connect with people or their community depending on if theyre out or how deep in the closet they are, I feel strongly that this post just perpetuates that we are different and therefore dont belong in the same space. The transfems that see this and internalize it are now more likely to not engage with the rest of the community because their advice isn't valued, their presence isn't necessary, and their opinion invalidated because they made the decision to transition.
There's already enough culture war bulls bullshit and real world threats of violence in the trans community and it doesn't need to be furthered by a some culture war bull inside of the community.
And to every transfem (transmasc too!) You matter, your opinion matters, just because you no longer live that life does not mean you dont know anything about it. You belong in this space as much as anyone and people who react like this to someone just trying to be helpful have their own hangups.
Personally, I would welcome transmasc advice anyway because they probly know how to do makeup and I could use help. I mean, doesn't that knowledge still apply? Like my knowledge of shaving, repair work (cars and such) beard maintenance, weightlifting, interacting with cis men etc etc?
Sorry D= I just want to be helpful and have also had experience with both being trans and being male, just not at the same time
As someone who lived the first half (hopefully not more than half) of my life as a man... ABORT! ABORT! IT'S FUCKING TERRIBLE!
/s
the gender wars DLC, including trans f/m PvP.
As a cis guy; WOMEN, AMIRITE?!?
…I’ll see myself out
Gender-affirming sexism.
Trans Inclusionary Radical Sexism
reminds me of the trans inclusive elliott page hate (his acting sucks)
Ah, the Groypers
It does feel lonely sometimes
There's at least !ftm@lemmy.blahaj.zone , but yeah. We def need more transmasc and transby inclusion!
It's weird, because irl it almost feels like the opposite. It might be that transfems are more likely to hang out online while transmascs are more common in irl trans spaces. Maybe transfems are more shy in person. Maybe transmascs prefer to meet face to face. Who friggin knows? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
On the internet you have to put effort into showcasing femininity while maleness is assumed. I think the transmasc equivalent of flower emojis and catgirl avatars is just sitting there quietly, which makes it harder to spot.
swift as a river, mysterious as the moon etc... ✨
I think transmasc communities are more frequent on eg Pinterest and Tumblr, but that's a hunch.
Call me silly, but what if it's 'cause of this:
That transfems appear more common because while like transmascs we want to be seen as our respective gender, and so more overtly express it. However, irl spaces are often more hostile toward us, so we tend to go online.
Whereas transmasc people - previous to coming out (be that to themselves or others) - tended to not frequent online as gals, because y'know, creeps. It's also irl societally more accepted to wear trousers when you still look girlish, than a skirt when you still look guyish. So it's easier to "camouflage".
Oh, and also, a lot of the haters are stuck with the underlying wrong assumption that being a woman = becoming bottom, passive role. And that you then go down the social ladder, and so they look down upon it. Whereas becoming a man, is looked favourably upon. It's sexism.
So, I think if you took IRL and online together, rates are probably more even. It's just that due to underlying pre-existent sexism, many of us (regardless of gender) are forced to hide or to camouflage.
Like lesbian sheep
Huh. Interestingly, I have never (knowingly) talked to an ftm person before, but plenty of mtf. I guess that is what you get for hanging out in slightly alternative tech spaces.
Although, I wonder, if computer science and welding seem to attract mtf people, what attracts ftm?
I think I've met the most transmascs in healthcare professions, doctors and nurses. I can imagine one wants to help increase access to gender affirming care.
I feel like stubble or a literal beard goes a long way towards helping someone pass as masc.
Bit harder to do that though if you're not on T yet. And T is harder to get than E, because of sporters abusing it as doping, leading to more strict regulation...
In a society that's often still focused around digenderism, perhaps the following is easier:
an hoodie, jeans, binder, shorter hair. For the dick you could fold a sock, put bands around it, and then put it in your underwear (boxer shorts work well for this).
I would have assumed that if you are in a situation, where you can get HRT legally through the health care system, it is about equal, since it is just one of many more or less controlled drugs. And if you cannot get it through the health care system, I would have assumed there is a large grey/black market due to body builders and doping. Is that not the case? I really don't know, I haven't taken either and don't really intend to.
It varies by country, but it seems like estrogen is often not actually illegal to import and administer yourself, whereas buying/selling/taking testosterone without a prescription is actively illegal.
I would personally never trust the safety of illegal drugs outside of a really community-focused situation like weed and mushrooms sometimes have. Everyone knows it's safe because Jeff grew it himself kind of deal. Even if the T itself is legit, you could fuck yourself up without regular health checks. I don't know if estrogen is as dangerous.
Ah dang. I'm sorry it's like that.
Hey, if it helps, that's what most of us feel like most of the time.
In our defense, we feel like we have this useless knowledge about being a man and we want to impart it on someone else.
That’s actually a fair point
Isn't that every man tbh. Sorry I'm cisgay but I feel no man could give a better answer than a woman. We are trying to live and be happy but thats about it
Well sure, every man has lots of knowledge about being a man (in theory), but transfemmes have that knowledge and we can't use it! A lot of us are bitter about even having that knowledge let alone it being totally wasted on us. It's therapeutic to sorta, unload that knowledge to someone who would actually want it.
so women who used to live as men giving out advice to men who used to live as women on how to live as men who used to live as women even though thats the opposite of women who used to live as men
my head is spinning
It can boil down to "I used to be a guy so I can give advice on being a guy."
I know who I am! I'm a dude playing the dude, disguised as another dude!!
Yeah the last 2 braincells I had left just committed suicide trying to decipher that
So this is or isn’t mansplaining?
i think it might actually be a case of splainmanning?
.... transplaining?
I understand nothing