this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2025
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It does feel lonely sometimes
There's at least !ftm@lemmy.blahaj.zone , but yeah. We def need more transmasc and transby inclusion!
It's weird, because irl it almost feels like the opposite. It might be that transfems are more likely to hang out online while transmascs are more common in irl trans spaces. Maybe transfems are more shy in person. Maybe transmascs prefer to meet face to face. Who friggin knows? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
On the internet you have to put effort into showcasing femininity while maleness is assumed. I think the transmasc equivalent of flower emojis and catgirl avatars is just sitting there quietly, which makes it harder to spot.
swift as a river, mysterious as the moon etc... ✨
I think transmasc communities are more frequent on eg Pinterest and Tumblr, but that's a hunch.
Call me silly, but what if it's 'cause of this:
That transfems appear more common because while like transmascs we want to be seen as our respective gender, and so more overtly express it. However, irl spaces are often more hostile toward us, so we tend to go online.
Whereas transmasc people - previous to coming out (be that to themselves or others) - tended to not frequent online as gals, because y'know, creeps. It's also irl societally more accepted to wear trousers when you still look girlish, than a skirt when you still look guyish. So it's easier to "camouflage".
Oh, and also, a lot of the haters are stuck with the underlying wrong assumption that being a woman = becoming bottom, passive role. And that you then go down the social ladder, and so they look down upon it. Whereas becoming a man, is looked favourably upon. It's sexism.
So, I think if you took IRL and online together, rates are probably more even. It's just that due to underlying pre-existent sexism, many of us (regardless of gender) are forced to hide or to camouflage.
Like lesbian sheep
Huh. Interestingly, I have never (knowingly) talked to an ftm person before, but plenty of mtf. I guess that is what you get for hanging out in slightly alternative tech spaces.
Although, I wonder, if computer science and welding seem to attract mtf people, what attracts ftm?
I think I've met the most transmascs in healthcare professions, doctors and nurses. I can imagine one wants to help increase access to gender affirming care.
I feel like stubble or a literal beard goes a long way towards helping someone pass as masc.
Bit harder to do that though if you're not on T yet. And T is harder to get than E, because of sporters abusing it as doping, leading to more strict regulation...
In a society that's often still focused around digenderism, perhaps the following is easier:
an hoodie, jeans, binder, shorter hair. For the dick you could fold a sock, put bands around it, and then put it in your underwear (boxer shorts work well for this).
I would have assumed that if you are in a situation, where you can get HRT legally through the health care system, it is about equal, since it is just one of many more or less controlled drugs. And if you cannot get it through the health care system, I would have assumed there is a large grey/black market due to body builders and doping. Is that not the case? I really don't know, I haven't taken either and don't really intend to.
It varies by country, but it seems like estrogen is often not actually illegal to import and administer yourself, whereas buying/selling/taking testosterone without a prescription is actively illegal.
I would personally never trust the safety of illegal drugs outside of a really community-focused situation like weed and mushrooms sometimes have. Everyone knows it's safe because Jeff grew it himself kind of deal. Even if the T itself is legit, you could fuck yourself up without regular health checks. I don't know if estrogen is as dangerous.
Ah dang. I'm sorry it's like that.
Hey, if it helps, that's what most of us feel like most of the time.