this post was submitted on 29 Nov 2025
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[–] mfed1122@discuss.tchncs.de 33 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (4 children)

I know this is a joke, but I really dislike these negative characterizations of adulthood, especially because they seem to just suggest that we should be complacent with this kind of dissatisfaction and discomfort as if it's a intrinsic part of aging. I mean sure, maybe by the time you're 70 a lot of this is unavoidable, but that's far past being an adult. I often hear young people half-jokingly say that they may as well die by the time they turn 30. Interestingly, the same 30 to 50-year-olds who love to complain about teenagers dreading getting older are the same people who make them dread it by complaining about it. None of this stuff is really necessary to getting older, and again, I do understand that this is partially a joke, but I don't know...

This isn't being an adult. This is just taking bad care of yourself, physically and mentally. If you've always taken bad care of yourself, then it'll start to pile up by the time you're an adult. If you've always taken good care of yourself, that'll also start to pile up by the time you're an adult.

[–] Garbagio@lemmy.zip 11 points 6 days ago (1 children)

1000%. I'm currently ending an 8½ year relationship over this: When we met we were both depressed, both bought into this mindset that we were pairing up for an eternal winter. As we've transitioned to our mid thirties, I got help and got back up, while they didn't. And as much as you want to be there for someone, you can't make someone change when they don't want to. But this mindset is infectious, and it ruins lives.

[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I don't know how you managed to pull yourself out of that funk with that kind of partner. Being constantly exposed to that kind of negativity makes it infinitely harder. Kudos.

[–] Garbagio@lemmy.zip 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I mean realistically I wanted to change. And despite our issues, they were extremely supportive, even if they didn't want to change, too. Then I started getting frustrated when they didn't, or expected me to be who I was; then we started fighting, then I started changing without them, and slowly the relationship crumbled. It's like I grew too big for a box: Slowly I pressed against the walls, started breaking them, and now I just don't fit anymore. And like, this isn't a value judgement of them: They don't want a depressed partner, they want a homebody partner, and I was that at one point. But I can't be anymore, not just because it's not me anymore, but also because trying hurts. Trying isn't just changing myself, it's reliving all the reasons I was a homebody.

[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 2 points 4 days ago

Good on you for having an empathetic understanding of the situation - for yourself and for them. I can tell you really did grow a lot. Good on ya! Keep up the growth

[–] bystander@lemmy.ca 8 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

I think there's a specific transition period that adults that didn't have good habits go through. And it takes time for them to learn how to take care of their adult mind and body.

The unhealthy habits (drinking, eating badly, not sleeping enough, being stationary etc.) are not as easily recoverable anymore, but people are still pushing themselves thinking they have the same vitality. Then it leads to the "everything sucks now" mentality. Give people some time to figure it out.

Like the transition period between summer and fall, everyone's a bit confused for a bit on what to wear to keep themselves warm.

[–] ricecake@sh.itjust.works 3 points 5 days ago

I mean, a lot of these aren't negative in the "man, adulthood sucks" sense.

As you get older, your metabolism changes and you do gain weight faster. It takes a little longer to heal from things and little aches and pains linger a bit longer. You probably mature a bit so you're actually doing and paying attention to those chores you ignored when younger. Yeah, it's more chores but your shit is actually good now. College kids do look like high schoolers, mostly because they're practically just out of highschool.

The spatula thing is just objectively true and I can't think of a way to see it as a bad thing.

They can largely be true while it remains true that the majority of people are notably happier as they get older. "As you age your tastes change and you learn how to make what you want happen" just doesn't sound as funny as listing some common changes.

Hard disagree on the annoyed part though. I see a lot more irritated 20 year olds. Usually because they messed up, don't know they messed up, don't know how to handle messing up and no one is interested in dealing with their shit.

[–] harsh3466@lemmy.ml 3 points 6 days ago

While I agree broadly with what you are saying, your comment ignores the externalities that society puts upon people that causes a lot of these feelings/habits/behaviours.

We still should do our best to not be this defeated. We should absolutely do our best to take care of ourselves mentally and physically, but for many this is far easier said than done because of the externalities.

[–] lauha@lemmy.world 21 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Your describtion sounds like old age + depression

[–] HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 13 points 6 days ago (5 children)

old age=depression. There's absolutely nothing that isn't depressing about aging. I've watched my parents age to almost 100 and it's something that makes me want to blow out my brains daily.

Where's the anti-aging research? Can we stop with the pro-aging propaganda?

[–] baldingpudenda@lemmy.world 6 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Unfortunately, anti aging is exercise(even light calisthenics like yoga and walking outside) , eating healthy(preferably as vegetarian as possible for heart health) , never stop learning and socializing.

Pro aging is modern living: sedentary, eating highly processed foods, being a shut in just consuming content.

From my experience, both are positive feed back loops. Being sedentary makes you tired. You are too tired to cook, so you eat what's easy. It's easier to stay home than going out. You dont sleep well from stress so you're tired all day, over eating, and drinking as much caffeine as you're body can handle.

Exercise gives you energy, better mood, reduces stress, helps you sleep better, which means you're more likely to cook healthy, go out and socialize etc, etc.

It sucks because there's inertia and, even when I was working out 3 or 4 times a week, I never felt happy about going to exercise until about halfway through or coming home.

I work in a hospital and see people with really bad quality of life. I know that obviously people in hospitals are sick, but with dementia in their 50s and 60 year olds that are just strong enough to walk to the bathroom with assistance I hope I die before any serious problems come up.

Why must life be so hard!

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[–] BurnedDonutHole@ani.social 6 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

After 50 years in this world I can confirm this list... Accept the spatula. I've a wooden spoon instead.

[–] axexrx@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

As an ex chef, I have a whole drawer full of favorite spatulas and spoons, each my favorite for its particular use. Like ive got my egg spatula, my pancake flipper, my burger flipper, my fish spatula, my pasta spoon, my soup stirring spoon, my rubber spatula thats perfect for helman's mayo jars, my mini soft rubber spatula tongs for scallops & tofu etc.

[–] burntbacon@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Pffft, how I know I'm an adult:

  • I gained 20 lbs, bucked the fuck up and lost it in 4 months
  • I sleep, refreshed because I actually get my full night's worth in, and go have fun
  • My back, knees, elbows, feet, and hands hurt, because I overuse them, so I go get in the bath and soak the aches away and get up and out ready to do some more
  • Comfort has always been more important than style
  • Spatulas are so last year; I'm getting nerdy about my glass tupperware stuff
  • Chores are for bores... ah fuck, I can't twist this one
  • College students are fun to talk to, and easy to push into certain conversation flows that get them out of my hair
  • Life is good; go get a hobby that you actually enjoy
[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Spatulas are so last year; I’m getting nerdy about my glass tupperware stuff

Talk to me when you're ready for wood plates.

[–] burntbacon@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 5 days ago

You'll take my beautiful ceramic away from me after my last dying breath, villain!

[–] Creat@discuss.tchncs.de 13 points 6 days ago (1 children)

At least half of that list applied to me when I was like 16.

[–] HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 8 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] JargonWagon@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago

"This one's black, like my soul"

[–] redwattlebird@lemmings.world 7 points 6 days ago

Mature age student here where my classmates are half my age:

The ones who have authority/inferiority complexes are awful but it's so easy to just push them aside. For the most part, they're inquisitive and sweet, and i adore them.

I get it's a joke but, dude, being an adult is knowing how to look after yourself both physically and mentally. Also, I don't have a favourite spatula; it's a very expensive commercial grade pot. I love that thing.

[–] jaschen306@sh.itjust.works 6 points 6 days ago

I think the biggest change is when I stopped giving a shit. My tolerance level dropped.

Interesting enough, when I stopped caring about work, my work started promoting me. It was almost exactly like the movie "Office Space".

[–] SharkAttak@kbin.melroy.org 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Actually, I was told that everybody hurts, and everybody cries

[–] PrimeMinisterKeyes@leminal.space 3 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Sometimes everything is wrong.

[–] bananabread@lemmy.zip 8 points 6 days ago

Do not touch my spatula

[–] miraclerandy@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago (1 children)

The spatula one hits home.
I had people over for thanksgiving and we had a conversation about my silicone spatula set and how much I like it. That felt more adult than a conversation about escrow.

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 4 points 6 days ago

For me it's more about some spatulas having more comfortable shapes.

Unfortunately my ex hit me with my favourite one and broke it against my arm. That might honestly be the one thing I'll never forgive her, in the midst of all kinds of persistent abuse.

[–] comrade19@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Coming on 34 and i feel stronger than ever. Im an ectomorph and exercise for an hour every day though. I reckon exercise is the answer if you can do it!

Yeah begrudgingly I stared exercising last year (mid thirties too) and damn if I don't feel much much better. Easier to get around, less creaks and groans, less heartburn, it does make me feel better. I hate doing it though

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[–] Bricriu@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago

I feel personally attacked.

[–] Emerald@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (4 children)

I do have a favorite series of spatulas. I won't mention the company cause I don't want to advertise but they are excellent silicone spatulas. I have 3 of them, each different shapes and sizes (and colors :3). Ah it so excellent

[–] abaddon@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago (2 children)

We're not good enough for your secret spatula club? Spill the details

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[–] hellfire103@lemmy.ca 3 points 6 days ago

Don't do this. I'm 19 and check most of those boxes.

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