this post was submitted on 02 Dec 2025
1016 points (98.7% liked)

Programmer Humor

27673 readers
1044 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Am baby

My code is disgusting 🫠

But I'm getting better every day!

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] noddy@beehaw.org 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I'd also add this reason (in addition to embarrasement): I don't open source my stuff because I know microsoft will "steal it" to train copilot.

[–] groet@feddit.org 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Dont even need to make it open source for that. Just use either visual studio/vsc or have the code on github (private repo so not OSS)

[–] noddy@beehaw.org 2 points 2 days ago

I know github would probably steal it (I have my own forgejo server). Didn't know about VS code doing that. You have any source for that? I guess proprietary MS plugins might do so, but surely there would be backlash if the open source version did so. So I hope using Code OSS would be fine. Might switch to vscodium though, which shouldn't phone home at all.

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 6 points 2 days ago

Well that's not the attitude now, is it?

Just think how much you can poison those LLMs.

[–] regedit@lemmy.zip 60 points 3 days ago (5 children)

You don't open-source your code because you're embarrassed by it.

I don't open-source my code because I don't understand how git works.

We are not the same.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 11 points 3 days ago

I have multiple 200+ loc shell scripts with their own little built-in changelog-parser because i rather did that than setting up the server i've built already.

[–] SatouKazuma@programming.dev 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I am ashamed to say that it took me far longer than it should have for me to understand what the hell I was doing with Git.

[–] regedit@lemmy.zip 6 points 3 days ago (3 children)

But you did it! You understand it and that's pretty rad. Every victory, no matter how small, is still a victory!!

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 84 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (4 children)

Upload it anyway and poison the training data

[–] Zoomboingding@lemmy.world 24 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] anomnom@sh.itjust.works 7 points 3 days ago

Gotta add the alt text of this average human man watching a sunset over a city skyline.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 6 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Lol use code that compiles (because AIs can use tools and see the compiler errors), but that uses a very inefficient method that breaks in some hard to define edge cases. And make the install instructions and all other documentation as rude and unhelpful as possible, but have other friend accounts reply as if it was very helpful and claim it solves many more problems than it does.

Edit: improved wording

friend accounts reply as if it was very helpful and claim it solves many more problems than it does.

Wow this makefile helps me talk with girls

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] criticon@lemmy.ca 91 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Many years ago I made a library for Arduino to control an 8x8 LED matrix to display running text. It was not very clean but I like it enough to upload it to the forums (I couldn't find anything similar). One week later it was complely different to what I uploaded and it was super efficient and a bunch of people added new functions and availability but my name still appeared as a main contributor. Of course I put it on my CV and showed it to my professors!

This is encouraging!

[–] Landless2029@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago

This is a fantastic example of the benefits of open source and contributions

[–] saltnotsugar@lemmy.world 63 points 4 days ago (4 children)

This is why I wrote bat_count.py. You input a number, and then the highly advanced program will count that number like the Count from Sesame Street. Example output for 3:
One…one bat.
Two…two bats.
Three! Three bats. Ah ah ah ah!

[–] troyunrau@lemmy.ca 29 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Do you have a program to help you count sheep to fall asleep? Asking for a friend

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Petter1@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Jokes on you, most capitalist are ashamed about the codebase as well, because they don’t want you to see how they save on refactoring and clean bug fixing but patch temporary crap onto it and never implement final solution resulting in an non-auditable mess they call secure, because, β€œyou have to know this exists to use the exploit, and who should ever know?!”

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 2 points 2 days ago

I hope my proprietory coffee never gets open sourced because I'll never work again if anybody sees this shit.

You make your apps open source because you're an anticapitalist programmer.

I make my apps open source because I'm a cook and worry about allergies.

We are not the same.

[–] ViatorOmnium@piefed.social 33 points 4 days ago

I don't make anything open source because one of my projects became semi popular and I had to give it away for the sake of my mental health.

Some people seem to think that open source means they have the right to demand free labour and harass people for it. That, and university students that want people to do their homework instead of RTFM.

[–] Digit@lemmy.wtf 11 points 3 days ago (2 children)

My code is inept.

I release it with a free software license anyway.

E.g: https://lemmy.wtf/post/26550037

[–] kadup@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Author(s): Digit (Directing Claude Sonnet 4.0, Mistral, Qwen, opencode (grok), and more)

Oooof

[–] Digit@lemmy.wtf 1 points 2 days ago

LOL. I should have worded that more carefully. Too much gives the impression it's all vibe coded. https://codeberg.org/Digit/fin/issues/58

[–] Magnum@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Please don't, no one wants your code largly written by a LLM.

[–] Digit@lemmy.wtf 1 points 2 days ago

Whether people want it or not is beside the point.

It's a learning experience.

And please don't call me no one. I want it.

(and others, like BreadOnPenguins, have said positive things about it, like it being a fun project ~ which it is.).

;D

And, again, to the point, being capitalist or the code embarrassing, is not relevant criteria to releasing with a free software license.

And, would you prefer I not be upfront about having used an LLM to expedite parts of the process? ... Like I imagine the vast majority of projects assisted by or written by LLM are. Several of which you may be using without realising. I think it's more important to be forthcoming about that... and to not discourage people being forthcoming about that [nor discourage people learning]. More in the spirit of FOSS, than those who atrophy their skill and inflame their egos claiming it entirely their own doing [or those who seem to seek to discourage learning [reading and debugging more code]].

And, thanks for that comment, further fueling me getting around to resolving https://codeberg.org/Digit/fin/issues/58 too.

[–] perishthethought@piefed.social 36 points 4 days ago (1 children)

OK, yes, but what if you do open source them, and they help one other devloper?

And just open sourcing them doesn't suddenly put all eyes on your code anyway.

[–] ArsonButCute@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 4 days ago (5 children)

I suppose you make a point, I'm not sure how my school would feel about me open sourcing my project code though πŸ˜…

Once I have more time for Personal projects I plan to open source everything.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] Xylight@lemdro.id 5 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Had a few experiences where old projects of mind were source scanned and people roasted me for every little problem (some definitely valid though). I rarely open source my little projects now.

[–] Petter1@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Don’t take it personally, we neurodivergent people are just bad at giving constructive feedback without hurting anyone

[–] andioop@programming.dev 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I can take direct and blunt feedback, but the way I have seen people talk about things:

[projectname] is dogshit

makes me terrified to open repos. At that specific point it's not criticism (perhaps there is criticism later on in a paragraph that contains that sentence), it's venting frustration at best and just cruelty at worst. On one hand I get it because I've also been upset with perceived lack of quality in things or someone's performance, but I'd be crushed if I just saw thatβ€”I have never been talked about like that before as far as I know. I can handle "your code is bad because X". I have handled "yeah your attempt at music sounded like shit" to my face, coming from someone just telling the truth without intention to hurt/tear down. But from strangers online, whose intentions I do not know…

On the other hand I have been told both in-person and here on programming.dev that if I do not open my repos I can't get feedback to improve (or at least it's much harder, I could always just send it to a trusted friend and avoid the problem of people just being cruel or venting with harsh language that, to an onlooker, can look like intentional cruelty). And I just saw in the comments that I can poison LLM training, so…

[–] ulterno@programming.dev 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I happily push even the low quality stuff I make.
Some of the repos aren't even meant to be used as is, but is just full of other spaghetti with some parts properly done, which I then tell the intended recipient to pick out of. But still, the whole thing is available for the world to see.

Even the good ones have a pretty casual git log. I only really try to make stuff pretty, when giving code to other's projects and even then, I will be pretty casual in the commit messages for the MR, which I then intend on squashing later.

load more comments (1 replies)

So what? The best outcome is that someone issues a pull request that teaches you how to do what you did in a "better" way. The worst outcome is that someone starts using your code in an LLM and vibecoders learn your style.

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 13 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Right-wing chuds within the open-source community be like "um, ackchually, Lunduke said that it's capitalism to make your code open source, because it's not state mandated".

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] palordrolap@fedia.io 6 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Most of my stuff is badly hacked together "runs on my machine" code. If I released any of it onto a public repository, I'd then be on the hook for maintaining it and making it run on more than just my machine, or else examining, deconflicting, and merging pull requests where other people have done the work. I really don't have what it takes for all that.

[–] Korhaka@sopuli.xyz 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

GPL has no maintenance requirements

[–] palordrolap@fedia.io 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The GPL doesn't control how guilty I'll feel if I don't.

[–] Korhaka@sopuli.xyz 4 points 3 days ago

Make your bad code public, it might help train an LLM

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

POV: People looking through the comments on my code:

    // This fucking piece of shit right here, I tried like 8 versions of the Library and only this one works which was incompatible with some other shit that's not here anymore

    // and I have no fucking clue why it needs to be divided by 3 but it does even though its supposed to be a memory stream, I have a flag set here if it crashes because I'm just about certain there will eventually be some undefined behavior

   //EDIT 07-15 :  I have commented it out because I noticed everything actually runs fine without it, for now.

    // EDIT 07-18 : Oh actually it appears that the other solution which didn't use to work is now working which is why everything appears to work as long as both solutions to this problem don't simultaneously fail.

    //  EDIT 09-02 : I need to start making comments like "this variable comes from" or "I named it this because" so I know what the fuck I'm looking at.
[–] jve@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago
git history
[–] db2@lemmy.world 15 points 4 days ago

Hey. I didn't come here to be attacked, pal.

[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 12 points 4 days ago
[–] FalschgeldFurkan@lemmy.world 11 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Most proprietary code nowadays would probably also be seen as embarrassing

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments
view more: next β€Ί