this post was submitted on 30 Sep 2025
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I was once playing in a classical concert. In one piece that my instrument wasn't needed for, I was given the job of controlling the volume knob on the amplifier we used to connect to the keyboard (with organ sounds), so the organist could play a range of dynamics.
I had not turned off my phone.
I got a text during the middle of the concert. Sitting right next to the amplifier.
Bap ba da, bap ba da, bap ba da, bap ba da, baaaaaaaaa.
[Ringtone]
Sir, I'm impressed. Are you a sound effects artist in real life?
Do you, by any chance, take requests? I'd like to hear again the sounds of old modems dialing.
Seeing what you can do with that mouth has me predictably moist (audible sound of peeling one warm slice of bologna from another)
Well this is a new bother for me, you got the commas in the wrong spot.
It should be
Bap, ba da bap, ba da bap, ba da bap, bap... Ringtone.
Kids of today will never know.
I'm an electrician and I used to keep a voltage tester in a pocket beside my phone
That fucker would light up and buzz like crazy, and I could always tell if I was about to get a call or a text based on the buzz