The penultimate holiday song would be about...
Praising Jesus for saving us from eternal death, but also asking for his return so we can have an age of debauchery full of alcohol fueled orgies with Santa. And it's snowing, I guess.
this post was submitted on 27 Aug 2025
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Jingle Bell Rock
You missed reindeers
That falls under the "Santa's horny" category
Which category is You're a Mean One, Mr Grinch?
Horny
All of the above. Apotheosis.
the song does incorporate critiques of materialism, so broadly "i want shit"
I really wish Jesus was legit
If I could just let God take care of everything and be assured there's a plan and the plan leads me to eternal Paradise...
God what a way to live...
All I'm waiting for is one singular shred of evidence. Something explicit and undeniable.
You'd think that someone all powerful who could read my thoughts and intentions would understand that but apparently not...
Same man. I don't want to believe in physicalism but.... where's God. I would worship him if he showed himself. I'd lick his feet clean. Anything to be saved via spiritual immortality
But first he has to be real
Sure, doesn't even have to be physical. But if the entity isn't capable of interacting with my day-to-day life then there's no difference whether I believe in them or not. Might as well just default to empirical evidence.
I've always said that I envied people who can just believe in a religion without immediately being disillusioned. I'm out here just rawdogging existential dread. Lol
Right? Like people wonder why atheists are angry all the time. I have an answer because we are mortal because we are mortal.
If anyone who believes they have an immortal soul suddenly realized they were mortal they'd be pissed too.
Well, that's not what Jesus taught though. Jesus taught that there's a plan and you need to work at it to fulfill your part of it.
That's pretty much the same thing every religion and most philosophies teach.
for the Reformed folks that believe in TULIP, salvation is through God's grace alone
That's a pretty small group through. Most Christians believe you need to do something to get to heaven.
No, that is absolutely NOT what Christians believe. Certainly all protestants believe the salvation comes 100% through grace, not works. Catholic and Orthodox is more complicated, but even they believe works are a symptom of grace, not the other way around.
I think that's only true if you use the word 'plan' incredibly loosely
you got to admit the last one has certain kick
I'm a school bus driver. Last Christmas a notice went up on the garage board stating that Christmas decorations on the buses were now banned. It was stated that some of the non-Christian parents in the district were objecting to the Jesus aspect of the holiday, although none of the drivers had done anything to their buses other than the standard secular stuff like Santa and the reindeer and presents and shit.
It eventually came out that it was only one parent, and that the bus driver culprit was me - because I had asked my kids to stop singing the same two Christmas songs that they knew and asked them to instead learn "The Little Drummer Boy" which is like the only Christmas song that I actually like. It was especially ironic because I'm a fucking atheist and I just happen to like the melody and structure of that song.
Every other parent in the district went batshit over the decoration ban and it was quickly rescinded, with our director of transportation and our superintendent playing a hilarious game of blaming the other for imposing the ban in the first place. Both have since been replaced.
Wow, that's absolutely terrible. And Little Drummer Boy is a fantastic song with a good message (give from the heart) regardless of your religious beliefs.
Damn... Can't believe you oppressed Christmas like that.... 😓 Jesus will be very sad 😠
Par rumpa pum pum motherfucker!
"Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" has entered the chat
A new one came out last year that will be added to my rotation from now on: Santa Claus is Amazon by Jesse Welles. It’s a short one but it makes me laugh and also a bit sad.
Also, "Christmas at Ground Zero".
I never heard that one before.
Here's another witty song about mass death.
https://youtu.be/TIoBrob3bjI?list=RDTIoBrob3bjI
Tom Lehrer. "We Will All Go Together When We Go."
Tom is the man.
This falls under "I want shit" for people who hate their grandma.
It's almost September, so any day now the Christmas music should start!
Hardware stores started selling halloween stuff a month ago. Even my kids were confused
I'm going to the front lines of the war on christmas... on the side of Halloween
Wow. Way to ruin my day. I wish we could go back to the previously agreed upon start date of the day after Thanksgiving to start with Christmas stuff.
I need to make a list of hymns that are better for that period of the liturgical year to spam corporations with to create a bipartisan stand with the secular community against early initiation of Christmas. Even if you want to claim you're a cHrIsTiAn oRgAnIzAtIoN it's still inappropriate to begin Christmas festivities before advent.
In my book the only legitimate timeslot to start it is between the first sunday of advent and december the 6th and it must end by january the 6th otherwise you're liable to be dragged down into hell by the music demon or whatever
34 more weekend days until Christmas!
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"stop wanting shit" and "muh memories 😭😭😭" are also genres
If Christians really wanted no man to experience eternal death we would have way less problems in the world
There's also that one about how stinky Batman is.
A Punk Rock Christmas is always one I listen to. Seriously, who the fuck forgets the pepperoni?
As the least religious person, I still find the last type to be the least annoying.
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