β Santa's horny
π Someone is horny for Santa
this post was submitted on 27 Aug 2025
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Santa Claus, where's my bike? IYKYK
There's also one about Christianity being a fairytale. That was part of the seasonal mix at a place I used to work. It always got complaints, but we didn't have a way to change it.
Go on...
somehow mariah carey managed a song with all five at once
You missed "one of my relatives got killed in a hit and run by Santa Claus"
I think that falls into the "shnackered" category
I'm always a bit surprised about how western Christians place so much more importance on Christmas than Easter.
Only through resurrection on Easter does Jesus become so important (thus the Christ), without it he would have just been another prophet (though part of the trinity).
Also important to remember most of the traditions about it are pagan. Christ wasn't even born in December. They just decided to celebrate it then to coincide with the existing solstice traditions. Many places celebrated the solstice as a new beginning, the days were now getting longer, and people needed a pick-me-up in the dark season. It was often one of the biggest annual celebrations. So it was co-opted with one of the most obvious Christian signs matching the theme, Christ's birth being the beginning of the end of a time of darkness. First by giving a new meaning to Saturnalia, then adding more bits from other regions they were trying to convert.
I think it's important to realize that Christmas has lost a lot of it's religious connotation in the West. Don't get me wrong, everybody knows it's a Christian holiday meant to celebrate the birth of the Christ. However, there is no assumption that because you celebrate Christmas then you must be a Christian. That isn't the case for Easter. People who celebrate Easter in the West are typically Christian. This makes Christmas the more publicly celebrated holiday, which feeds back into it's own popularity.
I am not super familiar with eastern Christianity, so I could be wrong. It may be that Christmas has the same religious connotations in the East as the West. If that's the case, then disregard my previous point.
Here are some other perspectives:
Jesus was the Christ before he was resurrected. The resurrection is all good fun, but once Jesus was sent to earth, the whole train was set in motion and salvation became inevitable. The incarnation of a God bringing salvation is something to celebrate.
Historically speaking, I'm pretty sure Christmas is bigger just because it co-opted all the Saturnalia festivities as a concession to the pegans so that more of them would join Christianity. Saturnalia was all about partying and beating up Jews, so it was obviously immensely popular and helped Christianity grow much quicker than if they required the pegans to give up their festival. With all the Greek and Roman influence on the West, it shouldn't be too surprising that they treat Christmas in the same way - but hopefully with less ethnically charged violence.
Finally, it's easier to tell cute stories about a birth than an execution and subsequent resurrection. "Look at the cute little baby with the animals" vs "look at the immortal zombie man with holes in his body". This matters a lot in a hyper consumerist society.
Not just Saturnalia, that was just the first. More was incorporated from various traditions as they sought to convert them. But yeah, that was sort of the foundation the rest was laid upon.
Interesting points for sure. Though I did not mean celebrate as done commercially with Christmas but the religious importance of it.
Orthodox Christianity is very much Roman, very much eastern Roman aka. Byzantine (arguably more so than Roman Catholics and much more than whatever Protestants are doing LOL) and Pascha (Easter) is the most important religious holiday there is.
You prepare for it by fasting for 40 days (and I mean seriously, like not just "I won't eat candy or meat", but basically a vegan diet with some days even having restrictions on certain vegetable oils etc.) and then break the fasting (with the eggs, baked goods and whatever is traditional for your region that you brought to be blessed the day before) after partaking in night liturgy and most importantly a procession around your church.
I grew up with the ex-soviet light variant of this (as in real fasting, but not the full on-night liturgy and we skipped a lot of the weekday liturgies and preparations during the Great Fast), but we did have Butter Week before the Great Fasting :)
(Also I'm skipping a lot of details in this comment)
It's because Christmas is more consumerism friendly.
But wouldn't that apply mostly to secular/agnostic/atheist people?
Another US perspective here, and one that was raised Catholic:
The loudest christians are often the arch-capitalists as well. I mentioned personal finance talk radio asshole Dave Ramsey in a comment the other day, and he literally says he is teaching people to be good stewards of God's money.
One way he does this, in addition to suggesting getting out of debt and investing in mutual funds, is to talk about how awesome real estate investing and landlording is. He's also into tithing, which means you give 10% right off the top of your income to your local church.
And that's not even scratching the surface once you get into the prosperity gospel. As in, yes Gladys please send me your social security check and that will make God smile upon you and send even more money your way.
Very thick with grifters, much of it is.
I wonder how such people reconcile their vile parasitic behaviour with the teachings of Christ...
Maybe in Europe but in the US thatβs definitely not the case
Jesus got presents, so we get presents. Imagine if he got healthcare. If only there was a part in the Bible about helping the less fortunate
"Supply Side Jesus" has entered the chat
That's because most Christians are not very good Christians.
Christmas is a holiday to consumerism and that is what is important.
Yeah we should celebrate the return of the Easter Bunny more than Santa.
LMAO
i think that's a pagan holdover. yule is more important than ostara
Eastern Christianity has essentially the same pagan roots regarding those holidays, no?
You're surprised how much western Christians and culture values materialism? Really?
I was thinking of actually believing and practising Christians, not cultural "Christians" or those just sticking around because of inertia.
The penultimate holiday song would be about...
Praising Jesus for saving us from eternal death, but also asking for his return so we can have an age of debauchery full of alcohol fueled orgies with Santa. And it's snowing, I guess.
Jingle Bell Rock
I really wish Jesus was legit
If I could just let God take care of everything and be assured there's a plan and the plan leads me to eternal Paradise...
God what a way to live...
I've always said that I envied people who can just believe in a religion without immediately being disillusioned. I'm out here just rawdogging existential dread. Lol
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All I'm waiting for is one singular shred of evidence. Something explicit and undeniable.
You'd think that someone all powerful who could read my thoughts and intentions would understand that but apparently not...
Meh, thatβs the whole rub, though, you canβt have proof, itβs antithetical to faith. If you have proof then true faith is unattainable, and if you donβt have true faith then youβre not a true believer and thus you canβt be rewarded as one of the faithful. Itβs a hell of a grift.
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