this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2026
380 points (99.7% liked)

Programmer Humor

32620 readers
1904 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
 

This is so true tho

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[โ€“] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 81 points 2 hours ago (5 children)
[โ€“] AnxiousMiisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 43 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Our math depends on him ๐Ÿ™

[โ€“] pelya@lemmy.world 42 points 2 hours ago (2 children)

Written in hand-optimized assembly with individual implementation for every CPU on the planet, with integer division function in 10000 lines of code impelented with XOR and bit-shifting which is somehow 0.3% faster than CPU built-in division operation.

[โ€“] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 17 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

He had to de-optimize the init sequence because the little trick he added that caused the init sequence to return a little power to the grid instead of taking it was causing grid stability issues because the returned power from offices starting up was a bit higher than the extra power required for factory startup weekday mornings.

I love that this is an actual possibility.

[โ€“] palordrolap@fedia.io 3 points 23 minutes ago

The mention of division has triggered a memory. I think I actually saw a library like that once. It was in C, not assembly, and was almost certainly for one specific architecture (probably Intel), but other than that, there was a lot of low-level stuff that claimed to make division faster for all CPU-native data types.

It was above my skill level to just pick up and use, let alone read and understand, but I can tell you that it at least looked legit, and the author seemed earnest in their description, so something like your hypothetical is very much out there.

load more comments (3 replies)