this post was submitted on 25 Aug 2025
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I’m so feeling this this morning. I asked the 4yo if he wanted cereal or yogurt for breakfast. He screams “I’m not hungry! I want mama!”, runs to his room and slams the door. Two minutes later he comes out and punches me in the dick while I’m making lunches.
I am cracking up at this. Please save this comment word-for-word in a journal or something. Because when he's older and truly appreciates all you've done for him you're going to find it even funnier than I did to remind him of this!
I love hearing other parents have asshole kids, because it reminds me that I'm not alone.
My kid went through the same phase all kids do of refusing to go to bed.
So one night he's grabbing on to the baby gate at the top of the stairs like a con in a prison movie, screaming and yelling. I'm at the bottom of the stairs trying to ignore him.
He fixed a stare directly at me, stopped screaming, and shit in his pants.
So yeah, 100% of parents have arsehole kids.
You are not; but they are not really assholes. They are optimising for some outcome that they want, with inferior tools/mechanisms. Depending on age, their brain runs on emotion most of the time, logic is a distant second place.
In saying all of that....they can seem like assholes in the moment!!!!
Yeah, it's funny. Sometimes my son, 4, he'll talk to me, but his speech and communication are still in the very basics, and I'll say, Buddy, I'm sorry, I don't know what you're saying, and he'll get frustrated, which leads to anger, all because I don't understand what he's saying.
Turn the tables, I'm like, Dude, go to the bathroom, we're getting in the car, you go to the bathroom before we drive, and he'll say NO! And now I'm the one who's frustrated and angry because he's now the one who's not understanding what I'm saying.
As always, communication is key, and breakdowns always cause problems. And so we're all just along for the ride.
Ah yes; the tactical wees discussion.
"Yes, I know you don't need to go right now; but we are going to be in the car for 30 - 40 minutes; go to the toilet now please!"
Yeah, no. They're assholes. Little ones, but still assholes.
I mean, the dick punch was really unnecessary but I am glad that other families experience... Weirdness, I guess. And exclusion of a parent.
I can't count how often I read and heard the advice to "just present your kid with two options to choose from".
My kid, even before she became verbal, always wanted option C when presented with two options.
"Do you want this hat or this cap?" "Neither"
"Do you want this blue pants or these red sweatpants?" "I want... a green... dress" we don't even have a green dress.
"Shall we go to the zoo today or do you want to go to the playground with Anna?" "I want to go on the trampoline" .
Yeah the first time I tried the two options for clothes on my then-two year old, he snatched both options out of my hands, threw them on the ground, and screamed NO CLOTHES
The problem with parenting advice is every kid is different. This becomes clear after raised a gaggle of them. Anyone with one child that is giving advice is clueless.
My suggestion is not to give that type of child options. Tell them what's happening. Then do it. May that not work any better and ignores why you may have started giving them choices.
You didn't specify an age but typically choices are best for later development. Toddlers are terrorists and one should never negotiate with a terrorist.
So true. I have two and they’re complete opposites. Every single thing that one is easy about the other is hard. I thought that the second would be easier because I learned some things from the first, but every lesson was useless.
I present two options. If my kid doesn't pick one of those two options, either by not responding or by requesting a third thing, I'm picking one of the two options for him. And I'm always picking what he's least likely to want.
So parents can be assholes too.
I'm not a total asshole: After he's had his "oh shit" moment I give him one more chance to choose. He's usually a lot better at picking one of the two options on his second try.
You know, this weirdly makes the whole shit world-state seem much more natural lol