this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2025
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I have no fucking clue how to do small talk. I tend to get too serious too fast and feel very incompetent and overwhelmed with this kind of almost meaningless noise. So it either ends in awkward silence or in me saying something too heavy for that kind of conversation, which tends to make things awkward as well.
Example, option A:
"It's so nice and warm today."
"Yeah, but did you know that death rates of sensitive population groups like elderly have increased due to more and intense heatwaves caused by global warming?"
Option B:
"It's so nice and warm today."
"Yeah."
[silence]
Maybe I should get checked for autism, lol.
Do you understand on an intellectual (as opposed to instinctive) level which topics are too serious for small talk?
Because if not then start there. If so, then it's possible to get better by taking your time to reply and think over what you're about to say so you can back out!
The weather isn't a topic that will last for long. Maybe you can ask "did you see that crazy rain/wind/hail/whatever" but either the subject is going to change or one of you will segue into "I remember when I was xyz and there was this crazy rain/wind/hail/whatever".
Conversations are about finding connections and judging what the other person might want to hear. Sometimes there's no connection though and you've just got to bring up something else. Questions are good because they allow the other person to talk :p