this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2025
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My ex, well if you can even call it that, dumped me because I apparently apologize too much and "apologies are useless and just show that you lack confidence".
So, according to her, yes.
I will say that apologies without the intent to change behavior suck. They're there to politely admit that you recognize you made a mistake, and that you're going to try to not repeat it. If you don't have the last part then it's useless. However, with the last part, they're one of the things that take the most strength for a person to do.
Eh, they can also exist to politely acknowledge that the other person's feelings were hurt, but not to admit wrongdoing ("I'm sorry you feel X"). That's something, but generally not what the other person is looking for.
“I’m sorry you feel that way” is pretty much just a lie though, isn’t it?
It can be a genuine display of empathy, or it could be totally dismissive. My point is that saying "sorry" doesn't need to be an admission of guilt, but it does need to show that you care about the other person's feelings.