this post was submitted on 18 Aug 2025
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There are legitimate reasons for avoiding bi people in a straight relationship. Straight folks use contraceptives a fair bit more frequently than gay folks, for instance, leading to lower sti rates. Risk of infection is a legitimate concern and an awkward conversation in a fledgling relationship.
But, from what I’ve seen, it’s largely just not understanding how you’re meant to act in a relationship with a bi person and ingrained bigotry. Everyone is at least a little jealous, but you can’t remove your partner from the entire populace. Half is a big ask but doable. 100% is just abuse. Despite the world becoming safer and more accepting, we’re still dumb animals that ping ancient and irrelevant instruction sets, and ostracism is one of the oldest.
MLM actually have higher condom use rates than MLW. It wasn't the case before AIDS, because they didn't have to worry about pregnancy and all of the STIs were pretty treatable, but they pivoted once they had a compelling reason.
Dude... Bi people still do monogamy and a lot of them don't want polyamory or cheating. If you have a problem keeping to a single person that's a you thing, don't project it onto others.
Calling it "abuse" is really fucking weird.
Apologies for copy pasting but,
To be clear, this paragraph where I state that it’s largely bigotry and insecurity that drives potential partners away, it read as though it was written about me and my specific perspective on my dating bi people?
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Could you list a point I made that you’d disagree with? Aside from contraception use, I take that one back.
Jesus christ, if you're so insecure you can't bear the thought of your partner being in proximity to ANYONE else, maybe you're the abuser here
To be clear, this paragraph where I state that it’s largely bigotry and insecurity that drives potential partners away, it read as though it was written about me and my specific perspective on my dating bi people?
it read like this: "to be fair, sometimes hitting your spouse is justified. after all you can't have them talking back to you, right? wait, what, you think I'm talking about my own experiences and perspective?"
like, yes dude, I dont even know you beyond the things you shared. as far as I'm aware, your entire existence is what you said, and the person behind the screen is kind of irrelevant.
not dating someone bi because of STI risk is ignorant and bigoted. I get that it's a perspective. it's a shitty misinformed one. no need to explain it here unless you're advocating for it. jealousy is equally shitty. it's controlling. essentially what the perspective says is that bi people are harder to control.
i get the desire to understand the mind of hatred... but as they say, maybe not every time we see a literal devil we should think "hey that guy could use an advocate!"
dont worry about it though. be well
You have to check that with EVERY sexual partner, not just gay or bi ones.
aaand thats why most of them just shut the fuck up and keep the past adventures to themselves
you usually don't talk in detail about previous women either.
I suspect that men who have sex with men are more prone to STIs because they have a lot more sex with a much wider pool of partners, not because they're less careful statistically.
* literal propaganda from the Aids epidemic
I'm straight and I couldn't give a fuck less who a partner fucked before me so long as it was legal and ethical.