Welcome to Programmer Humor!
This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!
For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.
My wife's standing at her company's IT dept skyrocketed during COVID lockdowns.
Why? Because we were both working from home, and aside from helping her with basic troubleshooting, I also helped her formulate her tickets better.
Turns out, tech support folks like it when a ticket has concise info, instead of "screen broke".
I have a dark secret. I used to have CenturyLink DSL around 5 years ago, and the tech asked me if I had restarted the modem during one of the many stints where I would get bits per second rather than the "10mbps" we were supposed to get
I lied every time. I'm sorry CenturyLink tech support employee, but man did CenturyLink suck, and man am I absolutely sure that it never fixed the issue.
At one point I filed a complaint with the FCC and got a letter from CenturyLink telling me that they knew about the complaint!
We know when you lie. We can see uptime stats.
Then you look at the uptime. 247 days. No longer have you been elevated. Now you're the vilest of vile. You're the user that lies. You just say what you think we want to hear, don't you? Well, now you're getting put on hold. For as long as your uptime was.
Except when they're not lying but windows by default has 'fast-startup' enabled, so every time they shutdown the uptime never resets.
This also works on IT managers if you say “can we use AI to do that?”.
As someone who's an IT person I can tell you the vibe is actually, "Well shit, I guess I'm going to actually have to diagnose something."
Show me how you reboot the PC.
*User turns off monitor
I will not believe you anyways and reboot just in case.