I'm gonna choose the side effect and you choose the power:
"I ___, but only when I'm hard."
this post was submitted on 25 May 2025
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am the world's greatest kindergarten teacher
Super strength
You fart continuously while using it.
Probably the most realistic of the side effects
Mind reading
You're extra sensitive to reading the minds of non-human animals and can't turn it off. All the time. Forever.
spoiler
When you read someone's mind you involuntarily blurt out everything you read.
Have my nose grow every time I lie
Your nose hair grows proportionally, but when the nose shrinks again the nose hair stays as is
Flying
Extreme fear of heights
The ability to get my DnD group to have a sensible, routine schedule, with no cancelations.
You DM becomes your literal dungeon master. You're literally chained naked in a basement, forced to play endless games of DND.
The side effect is intended to be bad.
The ability to focus on stuff i am supposed to do
Congrats! You have this superpower and I am jealous.
Unfortunately you can now only concentrate on things you are supposed to do. You try to watch TV and you can't follow the show because you're thinking about how you need to mop the floors. Want to read? You can't concentrate because you really should wash your windows. Your life becomes a hell of boring productivity. You lose sleep thinking about all the things you're supposed to do, including how you're supposed to be asleep by now. There is no more pleasure in life. There are no more quiet moments. There is only stuff you are supposed to do.
How do you know how my brain works? ಠ_ಠ
I can shit at will
You can't piss at will.
Poor will, never getting that number 1