I have a really high sex drive and I've never been in a relationship where I consistently got it often enough to be satisfied so I stopped trying. It also doesn't help that my living situation is not conducive to bringing people home with me.
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I've also never been in a relationship that totally satisfied my sex drive, so I feel this a lot. My fiance used to be very sexual like me, but then she went on antidepressants and that was kinda killed. Now, she's off then again, but her sex drive never rebounded, even though she thinks I'm more attractive now that I've been working out and gained muscle. Just sad to be jerking off in the office or bathroom every day instead of being intimate with someone you love because they don't want to have sex with you 🫤
I don't blame her or anything, it just hurts my soul a bit. Her sex drive is so low now that I feel guilty and anxious even asking, because I know she'll either reject it outright or just tolerate it if she really wants to make me happy that day, which kills it for me.
I'd say we only really have sex where we're both equally enjoying it maybe once every few weeks to once a month. If her drive were the same as mine, that would be once or twice a day. Just a shitty situation for me.
I don’t blame her or anything, it just hurts my soul a bit. Her sex drive is so low now that I feel guilty and anxious even asking, because I know she’ll either reject it outright or just tolerate it if she really wants to make me happy that day, which kills it for me.
Yeah, I'm single now and intend to stay that way but I don't blame my exes or hold it against women as a whole. It's just a fact of life. It has bothered me enough to end relationships over it but it was just about the incompatibility not any malice towards them. I'd much rather just hang out as friends and not have that "is she going to be in the mood or not?" question running in my head the whole time or feeling shitty if I make a move and get shot down, or worry that they're feeling like I'm trying to pressure them into something. It just creates a bad situation and stresses me out because it's not like I can just turn it off. I've tried jacking off but my shit recovers too fast when I'm around a woman that I like for that to help.
Sex in an unaffordable luxury and a deadly liability, I'm surprised it is still that high, I imagine those are people who didn't stop to think about the wild and unnecessary risk they're taking and how they'll regret it functionally forever.
I find computers endlessly fascinating and they are easier to understand than social interactions. If you took away easier forms of entertainment I would be seeking harder forms of entertainment. Probably also starting a revolution.
Many animals breed less in captivity. Many do not breed at all. The less people feel a sense of control over their own lives, the weaker the desire to procreate becomes. Even if people use birth control, sex drive is still ultimately a reproductive urge. If you're a farmer in the 19th century ? You have a great deal of freedom and independence. Mid 20th century American worker? Homes are cheap. Jobs are abundant. Labor rights are strong. You have lots of options on how to earn a living. You have a clear path to getting a home and raising a family on your own terms. Present-day 20 something? You don't just have roommates in an apartment; you're actually sharing bedrooms. Or you're stuck living under your parents' roof forever, your only hope of home ownership being them passing it on to you. All the jobs available to you don't come close to providing any kind of independent living, let alone the wages to actually buy a home, start a family, etc. You're just going to have to run on the wage slave treadmill til you die.
The economy has developed to squeeze ever more out of workers and consumers. We're psychologically manipulated at every turn. Every business feels like a scam trying to pull one over on you. You can't even sign up for a gym membership without risking getting caught in dark business practices (their infamous cancellation policies.) People feel and are trapped in a system that they have little to no control over. Politicians only listen to the wealthy. Unions provided some voice to the voiceless for some time, but those have been gutted. People feel like cornered animals. They feel as though the entire system is just on elaborate exercise in thinly veiled slavery meant to extract every last once of the work product of your entire life from you. The wealthy pay you a pittance for your labor and then take all that pittance back in usurious rents. People feel trapped.
Lots of animals refuse to reproduce in captivity. Lots of animals reduce their birth rates under captivity. Why should humans be any different? Why should we be any different than the mice of Universe 25?
The best answer is how anti depressants which at least 20% of those in the USA take ---- depresses the sex drive for both males and females.
That's some b.s rfk was saying. That's not the cause. Dysfunction is not the same as low sex drive. It can mean any number of things.
11.4% take anti depressants and between 40-65% experience some degree of sexual dysfunction so even using the highest numbers and assuming that the sexual dysfunction completely eliminates interest in sex (it doesn’t) that would only be 7.41%
I'm also going to think the absinence-only education plays a role. I know people in their 20s today who didn't understand: lube, protection, HIV, pregnancy. Some of them were HIV+ before they knew what happened. People are confused and uneducated. Thanks Christians!
Women are avoiding men. For all sorts of reasons that I think most of you are aware of.
Women also are feeling like they have the ability to refuse when before they didn't.
Women are also scared of pregnancy in a way they haven't been since the fecking 1900s.
Because now, you get pregnant. A doctor will let you die before they will provide medical care if that medical care has any chance of harming a fetus. Even if the fetus is dead.
Women are dying from pregnancy. Women are no longer able to terminate an early pregnancy safely.
Women are scared.
trend was before any new abortion bans. You probably cannot consider men avoiding women, but that is likely a larger overall factor.
Well, I had my 18th birthday in 1994 and I put everyone off since then.
People are stretched as thin as can be and stressed beyond belief. Then during their free time they are inundated by algorithms that are made to keep them scrolling and to feel as many negative emotions as possible. Then their food is full of hormones and their food wrappers and cosmetics and toiletries are all full of phthalates and microplastics and undisclosed hormone disrupting chemicals. All in a progressively protestant society that increasingly isolates us from one another and shames us for our natural urges and feelings and bodies, all in the name of selling us unnatural solutions for these "problems."
It's a mystery though.
It’s not a mystery, it’s social media. This isn’t fucking hard folks.
Also, this study is by a conservative think tank and is biased as hell. They’re trying to force kids to marry young to have a bunch of children for “god’s army.” These “data” showing declining sex rates gives these conservatives fuel for their crusade. This is all also closely linked to the great replacement theory. None of this information should be taken at face value.
Not enough foreskin in America
You'd have to compare this graph to data from elsewhere in the world, though. Especially in the Western world.
Also, the fact that sex is less fun for men when most of their genitals' nerve endings have been cut off does not mean it's being performed less.
No idea. I can just say that at least for me it wasn't voluntary. 17 through 21 tried dating some people, only one agreed and then made fun of me publically and sent me photos of fucking other dudes. Since then I got depressed really hard and gained a lot of weight and lost a lot of hair, still trying my best to recover and lose weight. I somehow missed that one girl in college that gave me signs that she likes me, and it made me even more depressed, thinking that I lost my only hope. Idk why I wrote this, sorry if you read it, just had something stuck in my throat and needed to type it out.
It happens, the 'did I miss a cue' can be brutal if it keeps replaying. Only real answer I know is being content with your own self and if someone also happens to fall into that same space all the better. People get so inundated with images of what's 'possible' which a good chunk of it's enhanced with selective posting and filters, so we get some unrealistic view of what a normal happy life is supposed to be.
As for the sending pics, shitty people aren't worth the brain space to stress over, you dodged a bullet there.
I just heard in a song something similar to "being content with your own self" and I see your comment, what a nice coincidence. Totally agree, trying to help myself from living in my head where I made an ideal of what should everything be. Came to it only recently, after drinking bit too much and crying a lot. I think I got a piece of my hope back because of that, so it's easier going forward now.
Just keep working on yourself friend. Only way things don't work out in the long run is if you stop trying
Blues Traveler song I love has a very similar line; "There's no such thing as a failure who keeps trying. Coasting to the bottom is the only mistake.". I heard it at a young age, when I absolutely needed to hear it. I have done my best to teach my children and close friends this. You can do it. What "it" is may change in the effort... But if you keep trying, you will never be a failure.
Thanks, hovi. I will. Appreciated ❤️
In life there are an infinite number of connections we’ll miss, the positive is we don’t need to make nearly that many.
The first step is to work on yourself, but you don’t need to drastically change who you are just learn to love yourself as you are.
Once you can manage that, it’s a lot easier to find connections.
Jee, I nearly choked on my ramen when I read your name 😂😂. Yea, totally agree, thank you
It’s because of mitochondrial challenges.
You only have to walk around and look at people to see it.
I see mitochondrial challenges in everybody in the MAGA Nazis administration.
Oh damn, this won't be good for the stick market
Humans have discovered we’re in captivity, and so we’ve stopped breeding.
Digital drugs AI, social media. People replaced sex with mobile phone dopamine hits. Misogyny and misandry in media. Lack of financial stability.
Do you count more if you have sex 3 to 4 times a week?
I imagine it's a continuation of the isolation that social media causes.
edit: looked into this a little more and found This medium article. saying there wasn't much change in the rate of sex weekly for adults in the 90s, and not until the early 2000s when OECD countries started seeing a reduction.
Not sure what to trust but Family Studies is a conservative think-tank so I don't necessarily trust their data either.
It’s the internet/social media. Not sure why we’re acting like this is a hard one. We are literally replacing real-life interactions with virtual ones—including sex. Wouldn’t be surprised if masturbation rates have drastically increased in that same timeframe.
I came to the same conclusion. I don't doubt that sex is on the decline but whatever data this "Family Studies" collected to graph this is dubious at best. I think I saw a sample size of 2,000, but knowing this has some religious angle, they probably polled at church or something and are only interested in the procreation of the "right" people.
Poverty, depression, gooning to porn.. Must I go on?
I blame Newt Gingrich
If anyone could stop an entire country from fucking, it's that man.
Notice it goes down over periods of time for which the political party in power is against women having bodily autonomy or rights?
And goes up when leftist policies such as expanding access to healthcare are introduced.
So i'm part of the majority not having sex. Feels nice for once.
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My first question about studies like this is always "how do they know this?". And I while I know I could find the study and dig into the setsils, I don't have to do that to know that this is the result of surveys taken over this time period. Unless technology develops to grant us a way to monitor and track the sex lives of people objectively and unobtrusively, that's just the best way can do. So any conclusions drawn really should be "the decline in people's surveyed frequency of sexual intercourse has gone down over time". Just to throw out some baseless speculation: could people in the past inflated their answers to appear "cool" or similar? Could there be cultural shifts pressuring respondents to deflate their numbers now? Personally, I'm inclined to believe the results of the study ARE true, but I'm not confident in that.
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The decline of 3rd spaces, which is a big concept with multiple causes. Car-centric infrastructure, industrialization, women moving to the workforce, capitalism, technology, etc. It has become harder for people to have intimate personal interactions with others who live nearby. I believe the rise of things like social media, dating apps, and now AI companions is less about "hey we developed this new technology to replace and maybe be better than real human interaction" and more about "we need to develop something to replace what we have lost".
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Consent. Reductions in arranged marriages and child marriages. Protections and rights for women and children.
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Economics. Everyone is overworked and tired. I've seen this in a lot of the other comments here but I actually don't buy into this quite as much. There seems to be an inverse relationship between GDP per capita and birth rate, at least recently. Most of Europe, Japan, Australia, the US, Canada, Korea, and perhaps most notably... China. All have experienced declines in birthrates, and in a lot these cases there is good modern data showing the birth rates changing as these economies develop. The countries having the most children are poorer countries.
Now, it could be that these wealthier countries have access to birth control, so this does not necessarily dissolve economics as a factor. But, my own theory is that sex is one of the cheapest forms of entertainment available to humanity (if you don't factor in the costs of children). So the citizens of these wealthier countries are spending their time and money doing other things. Not just skii vacations or going yachting, but reading books and watching TV.
From my personal experience, the 3rd spaces is a huge thing. I've met my wife in such a space, and pre-Covid I've run a large Meetup group that focused on safe socialization (dinners, cinemas, hiking, art events). I've seen countless of hookups and dozens of marriages within that group. Covid pretty much killed Meetup groups on our area, so when we want to socialize all that's left are pubs and clubs, and there I only see single-gender groups with no overlap. I doubt anyone is getting laid, and even if they do, chances of a meaningful relationship before actually knowing each other's likes and dislikes, and common interests, are minimal.
humans can't reproduce in captivity
I'm guessing this graph matches closely with anime viewing... The true amplifier of Japan's population decline!
To solve this crisis, we must make catgirls real and unleash an army of bland ~~protagonists~~ young men with almost no personality that possess some overpowered skill. Such as the ability to stay thin despite the ready availability of sugary/processed foods.